Thursday, May 25, 2006
dont worry. i'll still be the lifetime supporter.
today was quite a tragic day. i could feel the pain and sorrow. pretty emotional there.'go peh peh!'
'peh peh jiayou!'
'peh peh dont give up!'
actually its the first time i cheered on so hard for a friend.
i really dont know wad to say but i hope he feels better now.
mm i shall not talk abt it or more today.
to this special friend of mine: ur the best.=)
Sunday, May 21, 2006
remove that facade. my heart is painted with joy over rotten sorrow.
i just heard great news. tj badminton team is in the semis. they'll win rjc for sure. im terribly happy for that friend of mine. friends do give good hope and encouragement i guess.today was prelude 26. i bought 4boxes of nougats. 2 i gave 2 yr2s and my section and 1 gen wanted it la. lol. worse still. i came late. i also didnt know why la.. stupid idiot. then i bought circle tix in the end sit stall. really wth. tjband really rocks. comadarie and friendship. i enjoyed the perc ensemble. the stage band. GR. and the multiple impromptu encores. it rocks.
my life is full of regrets. i dont know wth i have missed. i wish i could turn back time. i always thought i've performed lots alr.. maybe it should be a break. oh wtf. i missed a deal. a big deal. really a million wtfs. as i sat there as an audience.. millions of memories came to my head. sorrow and joy merged into 1. a feeling indescribable. i dont know how to react. it sucks. i am so damn happy for the band. really. the looks upon their faces. the coolness. overall fantastic. on the other hand. i sat there like an idiot. and edmund was there complaining. wtf u wanna complain tell me for fuck. kns scold me wad u wan me to do. knn bring my box of nougats home. sorry i didnt ask it from u. my heart yearned for wad i had before. the fire. the determination. the respect. the ability to contribute. to ability to make a difference. wad am i now? a big fat idiot sitting in the audience and going wooh and clapping instead of being there. yeah.. i blew my own chance. really wanna die. i sat there with lotsa thoughts in my head. confusion. everytime its only if. and only if. and more of that. seeing my friends celebrate is a good thing. the worst part is u arent with them. i understand the pain of nt being into something. omg. i dont think i have done anything right already. nowadays im wasting my life away. forsaken. depressed. alone.
wanted to stay out all night. but my friends didnt wanna. i didnt wanna go home. i dont know wad to say. nothing is meaningful to me. how does it feel? experience it and understand it yourself. ended up heading to hk dimsum and speaking canto. nt bad food but i kinda liked the iced milk tea. then headed to shaw to watch grandma's house which isnt bad. lots of cock. and had a barcadi which sucked. the orange sucks. and took a cab home. and sitting back here having reflections.
i dont know wad to type on now.
i cant continue.
really.
i dont know wad to say.
i dont know how im feeling now.
i wanna die.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
dont worry my friend. i'll be there.
these 2 days have been very,very long. first of all i slpt 2 hrs10min on champs league night. was watching arsenal happily taking the lead till laarson came and spoilt the whole show. damn u laarson. damn u. and frankly alumnia sucks. f.ed up keeper. eat shit ba. final score: barca 2-1 arsenal. damn sad. i lost 20bucks. saddening. btw good news for arsenal fans - thierry henry is set to sat in arsenal after signing another 4-yr deal. news @ www.arsenal.com then the nxt day i sian diao coz library was closed for the whole week or wadever not. btw i still have 2 library books at home havent return. lazy. then went hub to slp for 2hrs. drooled quite abit la. ya i know digusting thanks. at least i only slp during tt break. then i played soccer till 5pm la. damn tired. dont know why i played also. maybe cause its my class' regular timetable now. after sch soccer on thurs. nt bad la i can exercise. lose weight i hope. then i played defender for almost all the matches i've played. was damn tired when i reached home. sit ard at home also can fall aslp. then i bth i lie on the floor in my room to slp for abt 20min. after dinner went to slp again nvr do tuts. damn sian.then it was morning today. slp for abt 8hrs plus. knn this morning i saw the sky bright scared like hell. thought i late for sch again. heng i see clock i can be on time i rush like dog to sch liddat. then attended lessons in sch as usual lor. after sch went parkway to eat pastamania. i nvr knew that they had a student discount after 2pm. in the end my beef bolognese upsize which usually cost 8bucks plus cost ard 4.50max. zai bo. then went home with dc to pick up his tennis racket. then i found my old photos somewhere in my house. had amazing finds today. i realised the chiobu whom every1 talked abt was in the same kindergarden as me. further more. in the concert i think i mc-ed with her. then dance oso with her. omg. so qiao la. lol then found my cousin's photo too. dc keep on asking me whether she now chio anot. then after bathe went to meet jon and hc at kv. played terrible games there. nb i lose if i play well(my own standard) nvm.. but lose cause of stupid mistakes is f.ed up. seriously. damn sian la.. then rush to eat marche at suntec. then end up go theresee chiobu. seriously la. me and jon gt common hobby there. but serious wad. then eat rosti and pizza and abit of barcadi. nice sia nice taste. seriously. pity quite ex. then we chiong all the way to kallang theatre for dance concert. for the first time in my whole life. literally, i paid 100% attention to the whole concert. i think its fantastic. energetic, cool, stylish. hahah plus all the girls to see. should have bought 16bucks tix to sit in front watch. wad a pity. then saw ms tan and ms chew dance hindi! song bo. lol.. remem for life. ms tan, will there be phy tut. on monday? lol.. we even video-ed it down. bo liao right. then after tt we wanna watch movie and drink or something 1. in the end both also nvr do. went kallang kfc drink free flow for like half hr till 11.30. nothing to do sia.. nobody wanna go out. then shared cab with ben, mich, cheryl and mich home.
yeah.. thats abt it. really tired. its abt 3am now. i had a conversation with 2friends just now. it really reminded me of my past. i really understand. i really do. sometimes, things dont go your way. wad to do? turn it back and adjust. i know things didnt go well for you. i can sense your pain, your fear, your anger, ur misery, well almost everything u can feel. almost. i know wad it feels like to be in ur position. dont be pessimistic. we have faith in you. really. we think u are the best. who cares wad the rest thinks? every1 makes mistakes. nobody is perfect. even the greatest leaders on earth had made mistakes before. why blame it all on yourself? you have already gained all the respect i can give. anything bad happens, it is always a cause of both parties. maybe its just a lesson that is hard to accept and deals a big blow to you. i have had such an experience. i still have it. as a friend of yours[if u do consider me 1=)] i want to say that u really have the thing to be a great leader. dont let ur fear suppress ur true potential. it is a waste. channel those energy to a postive aspect. sometimes its not abt the bad things which happen. ppl look at how u react to things instead. u have my full faith in you . really. dont give up. dont think of stupid things. dont ruin ur future by such a stupid incident like this. nt worth it at all la pls. i know now u are indeed confused, shattered, and 'nt understandable'. after u fall, when u get up, u'll fly higher. u'll be like the eagles soaring up in the sky nt like some crows and mynahs in singapore. ultimately, u need to stand on ur own. we can only stretch out ur hand for u to support u. u arent useless. just forget abt it. u'll be a much better person after this. 10 yrs down the road i'll call u out for lunch. bet u'll make it somewhere someday. confirm guarantee 100% plus chop.
as for me, the memories or trauma still remains. the stupidity of I myself alone is enough to cover up everything. whole day kenna bastarded abt it. wad to do. really lousy wad. i dont blame ppl for it. i admit. till today, im still quite sian diao by it. i always try to avoid the topic. dont wanna talk abt such a topic. loser here thanks. kaoz whens the last time i had a mood for such a post. but i really had a flashback of all that i've been thru. all i can say is. im stupid alright. sorry to every1 who had placed high hopes on me. tho i really thought i had the chance there. but apparently, i wasnt good enough. this is clearly reflected by wad status i have now. wad person i am. really. im afraid i might fail A lvls. how? i wont forget my past. even if i tried to. its painful. its a thorn in my heart. stuck deep in. operation oso cannot remove unless i die. damn jialat. the teacher was talking about the SGC or something. its a write-up for ur own cca record. me? write wad sai. i have nothing. i have accomplished nothing. its a facade in disguise. overall, im still a failure. accomplisher of nothing. i realised i accomplished the mission of obtaining something-nothing. sounds cool. im dead meat. i need help now. i wanna cry. everything's not in my way since dont know when. i really wish i can express every feeling from my mind onto something. then can tear burn destroy or wadever it. like computer file. but unfortunately its like a super strong worm. even norton anti-virus mcafee all those sai also cannot locate the problem and find a solution. thus the only solutions is ignorance. which is nt an option. wad can i do? i have no means and ways anymore. just stay at home mug and fail tests la. pro right. stupid idiot no.1. haiz i dont know wad more to say. suddenly my head is like a stuck pipe. clogged up. not thinking straight alr. now's 3.20+. perhaps i should go slp and everything will be alright.
to u my dearest friend,
just forget abt yest.
u are the best.
u beat the rest.
u can beat this test.
go and kill those pests.
yours sincerely,
t.chow
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
TJ Vball lifetime supporter.
today went to toa payoh sports stadium to support tj vball team. oh man. lifetime supporter here. ppl here shout and cheer like dont know wad la. then damn sian diao cause of the close fight between AJ and TJ. then they here and there a few cheers only. quite sianified la. i think they werent that good lor. then this time they changed tactics use the stupid tall guy in front.i feel that tj could've beaten them la. so close. 3-2 leh. last set 15-11. kns. eat shit la. damn sian lor. i oso feel sian for the tj ppl. how the nvr say die spirit, the determination and passion there is indeed impressive and respectable. i fully understand how they feel man. seriously sian diao. so close yet so far. and thats the last time they are gonnna fight on for tj. cry la. nvm la. tj is still proud of all of them. want to console also dont know wad to say. later say more wrong things then jialat. haha but the good thing there is can go kpkb AJ. they gt the AP guy, fei zai and the tall guy. and the few 'referee kayu's.. and knnbccb. they win liao they run with flag then come cut across tj area. nb. if i were the sc i just block his way. kaoz i think that is humliating and arrogant. seriously bastarded. anyway vball is cool.then went to toa payoh the complex to eat organ rice. kaoz. then my teeth pain sia. maybe its the wisdom tooth growing making me smarter for A's. then cannot chew the rice properly. damn sian. then dont know why suddenly like gt running nose. damn sian la. then i took a 40min+ ride home on a 31. try to slp cannot slp. then saw my neighbour with her bf! lol. i also dont know whether she recognises me. nvm la. nonsensical and insignificant guy here. and its like 9.40pm now and im damn bloody tired. supposed to finish my linear transformation tutorial today. guess i wont.
sian la i damn scared of A's. every moment i feel as if i wont do well. whole day fail test then low morale liao. nt like TK ownage la. then my class the girls go form the stupid slackers' club. wah kao. its so suaning us la. then we are called the mugger dong. reverse meaning ma. sian la i realised i should have done my tutorials last yr. i didnt do my phy tutorials and some mechanics tutorial last yr. damn jialat la. i like didnt do well for promos last yr now wanna try to get As for JCT. actually might be possible cause i gt do tutorials. this fri's dance concert and sat's prelude. and im nt performing. then every1 ask me why. ppl like wanna die alr la cause studies like shit. nb my class like so zai then i whole day bottom of class. if liddat carry on i gg alr. i thought of quitting sch go poly know. go study my banking and finance. thinking of doing applied maths or stats at nus. tho smu is attractive. lol like b1ng said smu gt more chiobu. haha thats damn true la. haha dont know la. pray hard i get straight As for A's lor. and my gp must pass omg. btw yest i went to talk to ms chew. wah finally sia. whole day do tut forget. aiya sorry i abit irresponsible there. well deep inside i still support tj band all the way. lol.
oh ya tonight 2am gt champs league final. arsenal vs barca. i bet 20bucks arsenal win sia. but i also gt a feeling barca might win. thats why its a must watch match. and kns i havent bought the maroon arsenal jersey. sian i love it la. haiz ppl here poor. and i damn lazy long time nvr change bedding for hamsters sia. haha abit stink there. zz tired sia. eh yina hope this is long enough la hor. enjoy.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
revival.
ok thanks to all. i revived my blog with some holy potion. thanks for reminding that this is may. ya and i havent updated my blog since the date shown below. wooooooooow. clap for me can. thanks.its so happening! i dont noe how to tell you-who-are-reading-this-blog my past activities. mm. lets start from the most recent! mm. just this fri. went to sch for stupid spa. knn. if nt i could have slpt till 8+9 la wah kaoz. then i didnt sign pink form to leave sch. heng my dad clever drive in to pick me up. then go get some mac-break-fast then go CMPB. damn sian go in so scared sia. then photo-taking alr gt ppl kenna scolded. but they stupid wad to do. hail TJCians. before i continue i talking to nemo now and she just spelt 'hardcore' as 'harcore'. lol. and inside do so many tests blood, urine, eye, teeth, x-ray, audio, balls-check, and psycho test. i spent abt 4.5hrs there? wah heng i go morning actually. didnt see any1 i know. but saw these 2 vjcians whom i suspect are bandeez. then go inside doc's room. put your hand over your mouth and cough. er i think only guys will understand tt sentence btw. then sit there do stupid computer test till wanna slp sia. kns. then finally i was freed from prison to go to vball match at CCAB. long time nvr go there since like last yr? when i was still in SNYO tt is. then tj vball zai zai la win aj vball 26-24 for both matches. ultimate. im like the no.1 vball fan now. then i cheer cheer di siao di siao then was so vulgar la. omg. then went to sim lim with darrell and jon to buy his earphones. knn DARRELL IS SO DAMN RICHASS. whole day complain no money can go buy earphone worth 110. and his old 1 was like 30bucks liao la. then went to new cathay watch MI3, was nice i guess. 4stars. 4.5. 5? haha u go watch and decide. no spoilers here thnx.
have been worming thru the past 1 or 2 wks. sorry to say im still the champ. dont mess with the best. and er. i playing tennis! omg. pro sia. er. more? dont know leh. i having my phy notes right in front of me now and tml gt stupid physics test. hope i do well tho. my bro is like playing Kingdom Hearts 2 now. then gt simba and the lion king all those shit. damn sian. dont know why my head is splitting now. btw poolers Efren Reyes was champion today at Ho Chi Minh city for San Miguel. er. tired headache la cant think. thanks cya soon.