Saturday, May 20, 2006
dont worry my friend. i'll be there.
these 2 days have been very,very long. first of all i slpt 2 hrs10min on champs league night. was watching arsenal happily taking the lead till laarson came and spoilt the whole show. damn u laarson. damn u. and frankly alumnia sucks. f.ed up keeper. eat shit ba. final score: barca 2-1 arsenal. damn sad. i lost 20bucks. saddening. btw good news for arsenal fans - thierry henry is set to sat in arsenal after signing another 4-yr deal. news @ www.arsenal.com then the nxt day i sian diao coz library was closed for the whole week or wadever not. btw i still have 2 library books at home havent return. lazy. then went hub to slp for 2hrs. drooled quite abit la. ya i know digusting thanks. at least i only slp during tt break. then i played soccer till 5pm la. damn tired. dont know why i played also. maybe cause its my class' regular timetable now. after sch soccer on thurs. nt bad la i can exercise. lose weight i hope. then i played defender for almost all the matches i've played. was damn tired when i reached home. sit ard at home also can fall aslp. then i bth i lie on the floor in my room to slp for abt 20min. after dinner went to slp again nvr do tuts. damn sian.then it was morning today. slp for abt 8hrs plus. knn this morning i saw the sky bright scared like hell. thought i late for sch again. heng i see clock i can be on time i rush like dog to sch liddat. then attended lessons in sch as usual lor. after sch went parkway to eat pastamania. i nvr knew that they had a student discount after 2pm. in the end my beef bolognese upsize which usually cost 8bucks plus cost ard 4.50max. zai bo. then went home with dc to pick up his tennis racket. then i found my old photos somewhere in my house. had amazing finds today. i realised the chiobu whom every1 talked abt was in the same kindergarden as me. further more. in the concert i think i mc-ed with her. then dance oso with her. omg. so qiao la. lol then found my cousin's photo too. dc keep on asking me whether she now chio anot. then after bathe went to meet jon and hc at kv. played terrible games there. nb i lose if i play well(my own standard) nvm.. but lose cause of stupid mistakes is f.ed up. seriously. damn sian la.. then rush to eat marche at suntec. then end up go theresee chiobu. seriously la. me and jon gt common hobby there. but serious wad. then eat rosti and pizza and abit of barcadi. nice sia nice taste. seriously. pity quite ex. then we chiong all the way to kallang theatre for dance concert. for the first time in my whole life. literally, i paid 100% attention to the whole concert. i think its fantastic. energetic, cool, stylish. hahah plus all the girls to see. should have bought 16bucks tix to sit in front watch. wad a pity. then saw ms tan and ms chew dance hindi! song bo. lol.. remem for life. ms tan, will there be phy tut. on monday? lol.. we even video-ed it down. bo liao right. then after tt we wanna watch movie and drink or something 1. in the end both also nvr do. went kallang kfc drink free flow for like half hr till 11.30. nothing to do sia.. nobody wanna go out. then shared cab with ben, mich, cheryl and mich home.
yeah.. thats abt it. really tired. its abt 3am now. i had a conversation with 2friends just now. it really reminded me of my past. i really understand. i really do. sometimes, things dont go your way. wad to do? turn it back and adjust. i know things didnt go well for you. i can sense your pain, your fear, your anger, ur misery, well almost everything u can feel. almost. i know wad it feels like to be in ur position. dont be pessimistic. we have faith in you. really. we think u are the best. who cares wad the rest thinks? every1 makes mistakes. nobody is perfect. even the greatest leaders on earth had made mistakes before. why blame it all on yourself? you have already gained all the respect i can give. anything bad happens, it is always a cause of both parties. maybe its just a lesson that is hard to accept and deals a big blow to you. i have had such an experience. i still have it. as a friend of yours[if u do consider me 1=)] i want to say that u really have the thing to be a great leader. dont let ur fear suppress ur true potential. it is a waste. channel those energy to a postive aspect. sometimes its not abt the bad things which happen. ppl look at how u react to things instead. u have my full faith in you . really. dont give up. dont think of stupid things. dont ruin ur future by such a stupid incident like this. nt worth it at all la pls. i know now u are indeed confused, shattered, and 'nt understandable'. after u fall, when u get up, u'll fly higher. u'll be like the eagles soaring up in the sky nt like some crows and mynahs in singapore. ultimately, u need to stand on ur own. we can only stretch out ur hand for u to support u. u arent useless. just forget abt it. u'll be a much better person after this. 10 yrs down the road i'll call u out for lunch. bet u'll make it somewhere someday. confirm guarantee 100% plus chop.
as for me, the memories or trauma still remains. the stupidity of I myself alone is enough to cover up everything. whole day kenna bastarded abt it. wad to do. really lousy wad. i dont blame ppl for it. i admit. till today, im still quite sian diao by it. i always try to avoid the topic. dont wanna talk abt such a topic. loser here thanks. kaoz whens the last time i had a mood for such a post. but i really had a flashback of all that i've been thru. all i can say is. im stupid alright. sorry to every1 who had placed high hopes on me. tho i really thought i had the chance there. but apparently, i wasnt good enough. this is clearly reflected by wad status i have now. wad person i am. really. im afraid i might fail A lvls. how? i wont forget my past. even if i tried to. its painful. its a thorn in my heart. stuck deep in. operation oso cannot remove unless i die. damn jialat. the teacher was talking about the SGC or something. its a write-up for ur own cca record. me? write wad sai. i have nothing. i have accomplished nothing. its a facade in disguise. overall, im still a failure. accomplisher of nothing. i realised i accomplished the mission of obtaining something-nothing. sounds cool. im dead meat. i need help now. i wanna cry. everything's not in my way since dont know when. i really wish i can express every feeling from my mind onto something. then can tear burn destroy or wadever it. like computer file. but unfortunately its like a super strong worm. even norton anti-virus mcafee all those sai also cannot locate the problem and find a solution. thus the only solutions is ignorance. which is nt an option. wad can i do? i have no means and ways anymore. just stay at home mug and fail tests la. pro right. stupid idiot no.1. haiz i dont know wad more to say. suddenly my head is like a stuck pipe. clogged up. not thinking straight alr. now's 3.20+. perhaps i should go slp and everything will be alright.
to u my dearest friend,
just forget abt yest.
u are the best.
u beat the rest.
u can beat this test.
go and kill those pests.
yours sincerely,
t.chow