Wednesday, November 30, 2005
TIKI, OH TIKI.
today went sch at 10am to do the tiki. nt easy la. the freaking plastic so uncuttable. so tired. mom sent me to sch cause i almost overslpt. then went for band. twain didnt come cause food poisoning. zhun bo. lol. tml gt sectionals again. sian. i go for nothing. lol. hanafi finally believed me la. zzzzzz.. and halfway into sectionals went for lunch cause i didnt take it. and i chionged. less than 20min i guess.then talk to ms chew lor. lol. nice to talk to teachers. but she also banged me. lol. at least she banged me friendly. and she's like little ms vain. go home to do toenails. and her chinese name is like. zhou jing jing. lol. funny sia.
then went tk lor. listen to them before their concert tml. no good la. jialat. really. sax solo no good. tpt solo no good. everything practically no good. lol. sian half la. go there try to remem names. and was discussing with hanafi bout syarifa malak slim down, si jia mature liao sure damn hot, and others i guess. lol. so fast another yr. then ate dinner then returned.
the question pops out yet again.
so are you gonna help out nxt yr? well. i dont know. should i? i dont mind la. but then. later ppl accuse me guilty return. or my results like shit. or other commitments must halt. then die again. sian la. anyway, flying off to HK in like abt 2wks time. hope i finish my work. likely not.
tired la. really. sian half.
till then. night bloggy.
One night, in pool parlour.
yeah.. woke up at 11+ with wx waking me. slpt with lights on last night i guess. and thanks to my bro who off-ed(gt such word?) them for me. cause the night before didnt slp ALOT. then siumin called me ask me whether can book squash for her. i said i goin out she ask me whether i gt mother brother. lol. DUH~ and i told her nt very nice right. then the end, gg.went to queensway to finally get on with the class tee printing with alex and darrell and wx. sorry wx. you spend another 200bucks on class stuff. and im usually the one paying la. come to realise. i haved paid for quite a few cakes for bandmates' bdaes. summing to maybe 100+ to 200? and lm asked me whether i gt receipt and return me money. lol nvm la. i think i remem how much. but i think its alright. paying for the joy of others is a blessing. and i didnt eat their cakes. and thanks all again for mine. oh btw. the deposit costs about 200bucks. each one 17 bucks. we walked past wahab's store. or rather, sneaked or dashed past. why? cause he's the super nice shop keeper who cared to chat with us and tried to give us a good deal. but one cost 25bucks. cause the shirt better quality i guess. wonder when we'll get it.
then went ikea to get some daugs[dogs(hotdogs)]. yeah cheap la. hotdog plus drink 1.70 nia. cheap. cheap. and more cheap. and squeeze out the sauce. cool. squeeze it. then went up walk ard.. looking for future chairs for use in office and a waterbed. i gonna get a waterbed for me and my future wife. then it'll be a rocky ride. tried to play hide and seek with raimi though. he appeared behind us like ghost liddat. and futhermore. he. looks like a bus driver. LOL. seriously. honestly. no seriously(from twain). lol. he wore the exact same shirt from G2000. lol. rocks. we made fun of him all the way to raffles place waiting for jon kok. then went to clarke quay the liang court to eat.
liang court is also daimaru. or so wad i call it la. used to have the jap buffet upstairs last time. but they gg-ed. left. for dont know wad reason. used to take quite a few chawamushis each time i went. now ITE liao. went mac to eat. then. ALAN rocks. the guy who served us. made us think its like a restaurant. gave us a menu where we sat and took our orders using palm. lol. tot raimi looked like bus driver then give some special service cause the public worker. lol. lame. then liddat lor. he made many mistakes. then dulan. then finally raimi had to go counter pay and get our food. then alan took the tray with our serviettes. rocks. then we rushed over to riverside pt.
there raimi had his 9-ball competition la. so disappointing. he was like actually on par with tt so-called mat. lol. then. he was so scared cause he was present for 8-ball comp. and was wearing starsports shirt. he had quite a number of supporters too. he was scared la. then kanchiong. then was so tense so uncomfortable. made so many mistakes. missed the 9-ball 3times. the other guy missed 2. if nt the score would be 5-4 to raimi. sad la. pity. nvm la. gg.
calvin too. he won the other lamer. looks mature but actually retarded. dont know how to play. 5min warm-up go prac bank shots. lol. nt saying he's wrong but its called warm-up. nt trick shot championship. and misses simple shots and gives retarded reactions like retarded smiles and retarded stick-out-the-tongue faces. and it happened many times. the tj ppl were like laughing at him. but surprisingly he could get up to 4-2. but in the end lost to calvin. 5-4. calvin deserved it la. cool. calm. but think might nt be able to make it to nxt rd. sad to say. but will still support him la. friend. though nvr talk to him much but supporting is at least a form of friendship?lol.
went KV at 10.45+ i guess. then played with raimi. then he so relaxed and started potting in the balls. but i also didnt lao kui tt much. although wasnt my best but quite a few gd shots ard. clap clap. and planning to get cue. still thinking. told u before. even playing pool is inconsistent like playing tuba. i play well when i feel cool and smooth and slack and relaxed. then left at abt 12midnight and reached home bout 12.15. drank some soup and brough twainoet to el nath and back to orbis in MS. read a couple of blogs and im back here now.
still didnt change. luckily i didnt return. i really didnt like it. or hate it, rather. seriously. i really do. accept faults. but in future you cant leave it tt way right. so im just gonna leave it behind. although its my most treasured of all. wad to do. the end la. gg. stop liao la. shouldnt continue something you know confirm jialat. in the end also my fault. and my parents keep on mentioning it. but i havent told them wads going on now. quite irritating to hear them ask.
so........... im gonna go bathe now.
supposed to finish hmwk before flying off to HK and Jap on the 12th to 25th. lol nobody will send me. ya la. unimportant. lol. np. its alright. im liddat. or so i guess.
I NEED TO CATCH UP ON MECHANICS. or i'll die. guarantee. help.
so how. jialat.
tml gt band and tiki making. thurs gt sectionals and calvin supporting. fri gt chalet and chicky little. sat gt chalet. sun gt chalet. maybe goin to riverlife though. my ex........... church.
anyway back to the main pt.
im gonna bathe and slp liao. if nt tml cant wake up again.
nights.....
Monday, November 28, 2005
Tune tune-in to tune the untuned to be tuned.
ooh. band tune-in today. coutned 31 sec4s. abt there la. last night twain came over at abt 1.30-2am to say over at my house. dled gb and play but i suck liao. then accident bought golden helmet which last only a week. lame. then i deleted it today. played ps2 till 4am. went back to room. slp at abt 5+am. woke at abt 8.40am with twain complaining tt my alarm sounds like bomb. said osama gonna bomb me. lame sia. lol.went sch at 9am for dont know wad. seriously. 9am so early. i go there slack only. wait sec4s come in. worst still. no jr.s came. except for hanafi bin shafie. lol. wasted a morning. then went eat lunch at macs..... lotsa ppl. then combined lor. dont know why lin sheng nvr come. should come la. but nvm. in the end also nvr come. so tired during prac. and ms chew gave me a slip. hanafi then went over my house slack and listen to music. lol. he like scrolling thru my library.
then went airport to send gen off. wah lao. wait for 4 sets of buses. in the end i went back up change and bathe and take charger for twain. lol then waited another 4 sets of buses before 36 came. then eat popeye. shit sia no more syrup for biscuit. then bo liao walk ard with them till her family came. then gd bye and have a nice trip. lol her dad said something realy outta the blue man. unbelievable.
have to do hmwk man.
tml goin queensway and then riverside pt.
cya then.
today was much better.
but i wanna be even better.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
STONE.
stone like a rock. has been doing tt regularly. supposed to go gym la. but still havent applied for gym downstairs. nowadays wake up at 1+ 2.. habit la. waste my life away. watch chan 62 for a long time.. nice movies..nothing to update today.
lifeless.
shortest update ever.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Better.
Think today was much better. cause last night the post was a source of venting anger(think it sounds funny). and today had band. crap lo. hanafi they all supposed to come. left Cliff.and there it goes.. playing the upper staff register all the time. zz. go play eupho. bahz. sekali band tune-in must play. then lao kui. kev and tz ask me go play for BQ tml. but i CMI la. though i promised i'll go nxt time. i'll stick to my principle. practise before you go and perform. i haven't even prac'ed so i can go for prac with them and try out pieces. ya lor. go there half the time zuobo. still remem last time i suggested play flight of tuba bee. i was serious then. but now no. stop la. slowly get back up again. i just wanna get that sense of achievement i gt last yr, the glory and honour. can just remem every1 cheering on TK.
'The Best Drum Major Award goes to.. Ngai Yi Qian of Deyi Secondary School!'
disappointed la.. thought i was on par. then alumni bluff him say he drop i sure win. zz. thought could grab tt double award but haiz. sian halved.
'...and the Best Display Band of the Year Award goes to......... Tanjong Katong Secondary School!'
then this i thought was quite expected.. although heard deyi was strongest this yr. admit lor. they were fantastic. but too bad. we were better than fantastic with our er.....
Lord of the Rings for march-in.
Pirates of the Carrbiean.
Carmina Burana for splendid opening.
The 8-beat silence for my mace in the air for me to catch.
Olympic Spirit at the Olympic Circles. with our colourful pom-poms.
Fate of the gods at the Puma.
J-pop on the way to our kaleidoscopes(Ks).
Can't Take My Eyes Off You for our start of the Ks.
Jap Graf. 3 to our K3.
then our dearest perc. for drum solo for instru. twirling.
then Gulliver's Travels to the Shark.
Pirates of the Carribean at the Shark again with out blue and black fans.
Ross Roy on our way to the Castle.
Then, a salute at the Castle with music of Great Gate of Kiev(with my highest throw at the SYF).
Lastly, Fen Yong Qian Jing to our fiery Phoenix.
Fiery fans at the Phoenix brought out our fiery burning passion. With music from Feng Yang Hua Gu. The suonas and cheena drum.
Then close with Lord of the Dance.
And finally bazookas.
The End.
Did i miss out anything? dont noe. i havent gotten the freaking SYF cd. wth more than a yr.
today's tiring with soccer.
then to PS.
then 16 back home with twain.
i shall get up be on my way.
Cya.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
my C is zero.
ages. been ages. finally decided to update. sorry if anyone wanna read my blog for the past whole time.several happenings in my life. or rather, i cant take the impact. like seriously.
i will just explain wad's MapleStory or the popoular MS. its actually a virtual game in a virtual world. u just control a cute little character, go around chopping cute little snails at first and gradually come to stronger creatures. then u lvl up. ya of course you do. hello. immersing yourself in such a 'beautiful' virtual game may be a source of comfort. however, its nt a long term solution. heals your pain for sometime though.. lets you imagine that you at least are not the worst. imagine only. think about it only. not true in your real life. so, it means that it lets you be someone you arent in the game. cool huh. ppl like me need such a game. depend on such a game to live. if nt i'll just die. die on the spot. let you see. maybe you can see me in the news - Boy, 17 dies when he jumps from condo. me lor. aku.
just quit YO. returned the gig bag this afternoon. sad to see it part. dont want it to part. i'll nvr get to go there again. i thought i used to be on my way to there chair in the music studio. but guess wad. i didnt make it. i cant. CMI. wads wrong? you may ask. i wanna die. living everyday is a torture. seriously. nobody understands how i feel. seriously, nobody. i'm just gonna let down my monette and my conn5j sitting in my room. i had my dreams. yeah. define dream then. its imaginary. i once thought i had the ability to fulfill it. the harder i tried, the worse it became. till i decided to stop and rest. when i tried again ITE. its the end. really. humiliation on the name t.chow on wed was ulti-mate. but i understand. expected. seriously. if i had known i would be like that on this day, why would i have bothered to sacrifice so much here? appeal for TJ wouldnt have had happened. i might be in another JC, or rather poly. i came TJ with my intention of goin further. wad happened was, reverse effect. i died. why would i bother to join TJ, moreover, band. maybe its arrogance and ego. possibly.
once i was so IN, now im so out. outta place. out of the world, out of the scene. im nowhere. no place. things in my heart are dying to explode out. real. come on, i dont know where to start. u can find a string in my heart. millions of knots though. and the ends of the knot are stuffed back into the knots. so how. no ends. where to start? i'm like so outta touch of the music scene. philyouth is filled with new ppl. bowen is rising i heard. my friend is goin over to YO to replace me. life rocks. like seriously. you'll nvr know when things go 180 degrees backward for you. this is the lowest point in my entire life. literally. nvr before in my whole life i have felt this way. i have lost my life. lost my world. band has just died in me. however many REVIVE spells i try to cast, i can only see its fingers twitching.. it didnt rise. there's still a strong desire in me. i know i am a burden to many, wherever i am. thats why i dont enjoy it. maybe ppl dont think so, but i'm definitely nt a selfish bastard who'll happily be the prick on a rose. i dont wanna be lousy. im nt a person who'll do something which i suck at. hello, why should i. the more i do, the bigger the letter L of the word LOSER is on me. i have no life now.
studies? sucks, sucks, and sucks. t.chow is a freaking idiot. stupid. dumbell. wadeva. i gt a CEEE. Cock, EEE-diot, and 2 more Es i dont know wad to write. wordless. i thought i'll do well in chem and it apparently sucked. physics too. maths i tot i failed i gt C. wtf. f.maths i didnt expect an E. D at least. just because of carelessness and leaving out mechanics. fk it. GP D7. qualified to appeal. and it didnt work. the whole world was raising my hopes and bang. i died. 'i'm sorry you have to drop a subject.' ITE again. life's cruel. i finally understand why. no chance. now i'm left with 3. die liao. repetition of my sec3 life. songbo.
broke up with pam. died again. my decision though. say i'm stupid, hurry. i know. refer to above for reason. no pt. la. really. see me as a roadsweeper in the future.
im good at nothing. as you can see, i have no strengths in anything. really. i know i have 1. or so i think. but i have completely no chance to exercise it. because i was said to be a person who when facing another situation will lose track of main goal. ok. do i? i dont think so. i dont care anymore la k. seriously. this past 2months or so has made me fall into a bottomless pit. how am i gonna crawl out? kevin told me its psychology. i dont think so. if it was so easy, i would i have done it. the problem is that its not only 1 problem, but like a machine gun. fire continuously. i admit. i lose. i surrender. the white flag is up. i nt good enough la. just let me live a quiet life.
was this update useful? was it cool? was it interesting?
i dont know. i only know that i am a changed person.
from up there to down there. i think i have a different character now.
lies and deceit. facade. only things are hidden where nobody will find, or ever try to find.
try to pry open a mouth of doom.
then you'll find a bottomless pit. jump in, and find me.
if u can. maybe im miles below when you just jumped.
try to dive faster than me. rescue me.
blog. blog blog.
till then.
tata.
cya.