tchow's blog.

racial harmony day, transformers, anniversary, vie bar.

2007-07-22T23:19:00.001+08:00

weekend of activities started off with amazing race with my plt mates on thurs morn. i strongly believe that it is really boring. planned to watch movie or slack somewhere else in the first place. and even planned to eat breakfast at mac's but all didn't happen. cause some ppl enthu and all so had no choice but to tag along. really dampened everyone's mood due to laggyness and unwillingness. supposed to be played like the Shi Zhi Lu Kou relac jac 1 wad.. so garang for wad. then somebody must overemphasize going army market to eat. for wad shit. only 1 person wanna go. kaoz. waste time waste energy. basically i think its a wasted day, though its good to have a long wkend.

fri stoned around at home playing killzone on psp, ninja gaiden on ps3. ninja game really damn difficult la, too action packed. 1 min can have 20+ ppl come attack u and have to hip hop jump around to siam and all. wah lao eh i gt so fit to do all those meh. ended up going to tm watch transformers at night. action was real good and entertaining and enjoyable. megan fox was hot, but thats nt the whole gist of the movie. optimus prime, bumblebee, megatron, decepticons and all were very cool though. didn't expect the movie to be on such a large scale too, and the ending was cool. dream come true for me. lol.

sat is tkband 40th anniversary day. as usual did nothing for most of the day, until abt 6plus the trip to tk was pending. wasn't really on abt it in the first place coz might be boring. no car no status also ma. lol. end up took cab there sian sian see ppl also nt bad la. alot of oldies man. 30bucks for nt enough and nt good food really ar. sigh. nvm la go there for memories k. don't wanna complain so much, coz got something out of it at the end of the day.=)
went to hk cafe at siglap for supper(dinner), and proceeded to vie's bar at the corner for drinking session. i didn't know that place was so comfy and homely in the first place. i decided that it would be a nice spot to hold future night gatherings. frozen magarita was nt bad, learnt new games and left on jon's car for supper. headed to closed chomp chomp, closed geylang tofu and finally lavender pig organ. had learnt to see some red light district areas. reached home at 4+am and peng-ed immediately.

today's just another stoning day watching soccer and F1 drama. zzz. tml's gonna be another boring day i guess. shall try to forge a beautiful future soon. =)

cash splurge.

2007-06-24T18:46:00.000+08:00

there goes my 2 months pay on club and psp. sian max man. thought i find psp worth it im running out of cash now. guess i'll have to go out less and eat less. hooked on to puzzlequest and field commanders. and now that i've passed my btt i've got to go for driving lessons at 24bucks/hr. i booked on the coming sun and i forgot its SAF DAY. damn it. maybe mr.wang's gonna kill me or something. first impression = 0. i really wanna get my license soon probably by the end of the year and pass my first and only tp. coming week's exercise.. gonna shag again.

tested out the wii at gary's house that day and its actually quite fun. super paper mario is really fantastic as the reviews went and the graphics are also decent. those wkend nights of taking cab really drained my wallet. tonight's initial d, gotta pick up a few tips from jay.

yesterday had a semi-productive day hanging out with my o2 peeps at nydc. went to cdc with hanren in the morning to change my e-trials test date cause that woman anyhow arrange for me. went to city hall mrt to camp and wait for fellow friends to arrive and headed down to nydc for the baked food. cant remem wads the name tho. quality but expensive. i'm running out of cash, oh 15th of every month please arrive faster. stoned around marina for quite sometime before finally deciding to watch the 5.20 movie of F4. its nice, jessica alba is still hot. transformers look nice too, i guess i'll watch soon. went for dinner at 85 which took us some time to find seats for 7. had the bak chor mee which is really nice. had no cash to order more food tho. went home and stoned awhile before moving out again for supper.

supper took us almost 4hours amazingly cause we had a hard time finding ppl's houses. went to pick up alex at ubi and ran into a road block. the police complained that jon did not put his triangle sign which delayed us for about 15-20min. headed down for wy and tried to look for clarice too at hougang area. and then we realised we had to go down to punggol for darrell. reached sengkang and we're like omg we're lost. made us real tired trying to find our way. by the time we reached upp thompson prata house it was already 3am. food was good and i was starving and ate a chicken murtabak. finished at 3.30am and lost our way again trying to go back to hougang. -.-". really wanna die liao sleepy like hell navigating our way. finally ended up home at 5am and its so-called mission accomplished for the night. wow!

did practically nothing for the day except trying to arrange for practical lessons for driving which clashes with SAF DAY. damn. dad's returning, bro's returning, mom's leaving. zzz. and i'll have to start studying for ftt soon. booking in 2330, signing out at 1900.

so free? book in and out.

2007-06-07T16:29:00.000+08:00

so many ppl's been asking me why i'm online most of the time compared to the other NS men. well i've just got to say that my leave's been cleared so i guess i wont have anymore leaves to take already.

been stoning around the past few days watching old movies and buying stuff. bought a new shirt yesterday at taka and ate crystal jade again. had dinner and dessert at bugis with yina and bought a new esprit bag. well jacq and yz pangseh-ed us so bo bian liao. anyway the food street along bugis sure looks as if it has nice food. and i'm broke this month. real sad.. my pay's coming this wkend but i've gotta save save save. no more zouk-ing and dbl-o-ing soon i hope. only gatherings and dinners allowed.

bought a new casio watch today at parkway coz i lost mine at 7-11 outside nee soon camp. saddening cause that watch was with me thru bmt! booking in tonight at 2230, out again tml at 1800 i guess after a run at ECP i think. hope to see some candy tho. lol.

back to tk.

2007-06-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

woke up late late late this morning at 11plus. watched tokyo drift which is kinda cool. one of the cooler movies. too bad i cant dl initial d somehow. went back to tj to collect my certs. and guess wad, best is really best. which indicates 1 and only 1 which is me. best academic award i thought would include a few people but i only saw 1 for each level i think. and so was i for yr2. unbelievable right? and the SGC thing is quite cool. comes with a brown maroonish file which is quite stylo milo. but my grades dont suit the file la. dont suit the occasion. and i was thinking if that day i went for college day will paiseh anot. cause best academic award sounds lousy. its like u are some stupid guy who finally improved. oh well, i didnt go and thats the bottomline. oh yeah, today's quite dumb. the woman called to tell me i still have a trophy to collect. but she doesnt know where's it. -.- . sian lor then tell me for wad. and heard jit rui's the new president. kenna suan by frens lor sibei sian.

went back to tk after being persuaded by francis. and yes indeed, my section isnt in a good state or condition. and the band too. coached geraldine today (is that the correct spelling?). well reminded me of khay and junhui. nt bad la. but for show show can la. go back always get reminded of the old times. and saw annabel today whom i didnt really see for a long time. and so was marco and azlan. to fellow tkband ppl, latest news - performing at zouk on 16june(sat) in the afternoon i guess, national stadium for closing ceremony on 30may(sat) and band camp's during 21st june week. go down if you like. if anyone wanna chiong on 16th pls jio, thanks!

had dinner with francis and marco and back home safe and sound. nothing much to do really. thinking about my forced leaves makes me sian. and hanafi still owes me my conn. havent played it for a long time and i do miss it. thinking about zouk tml. and shopping at vivo. really wanna get some new clothes. haven't bought any in a long time. armani i'm coming soon alright.
and smu pls give me my LKC and dbl deg. thanks...

stupidity of mine.

2007-06-04T22:16:00.000+08:00

well its been a month without updates. been busy with NS stuff and the days are really boring me. why the title u say? coz i realise the whole world's applied for dbl deg and i didnt when i really wanted it. thats dumb right. i thought they said only SATs students can apply and so i happily wanna study my SATs and now i got cheated. just a down feeling im experiencing. yeah nxt yr apply again lor wad to do. and applying for LKC scholarship certainly requires SATs? please dont cheat me again alright.

i've registered for my class 3t at cdc. im sure i'll pass btt on 22june and ftt too. and practical. u shall see me drifting at orchard soon.

another stupid thing is tt i've spent so much this month. i guess all my pay's gone. gone to zouk and dbl o already and spent much on clubbing. well i've got to accept the fact tt drinking and dancing out into the night can really relieve stress but now its stressing my wallet. i guess maybe once a month will be alright. but i've been having offs and leaves so often on wed nights tt i'm so tempted to go. how sia? bought a new wallet, opened a new UOB acct and wad else? i cant really remem wad i've spend on. oh well. money-saving again. i need to buy clothes. i mean seriously. recently i've gt the urge to splurge and spend. probably coz i dont see 2k in my acct anymore.

just moved back to selarang from nee soon. booked out at 1800 and went to tm to have dinner with my fellow pioneers. wanted to go pasta but was packed, so we headed to food court -.-" . 18.5 months left, almost 1.5yrs left. only getting a driving license is my motivation. i'm certainly nt looking forward to 3wks in brunei. NS sucks.

watched pirates 3 last sat night. i think it was interesting with a splendid music. definitely. story-wise perhaps i have to watch it again to analyse the plot and maybe understand everything. i shall wait for them to sell the triology and i'll buy the set.

i'll be booking in on thurs night 2230. fellow friends who are reading pls jio me out? need fresh air. feeling so cooked up now.

perhaps i shall return to hk to study.

Spidey3!

2007-05-01T20:39:00.000+08:00

and today's the day when i had a movie outing of spider3 at marina again with my o2peeps. i think this 3rd one has very interesting turn of events and the way they introduced the new enemies is quite cool. having said tt the show reflects that peter parker can be quite a bastard at times and mj can be a bitch too. and the gwen or gwan girl got cheated! lol. nvm sorry these are mini-spoilers.

just reached home after dinnering at kenny rogers at suntec. anyway sunbian bought a new nokia 2626 phone for $138! gt radio and looks quite good for the price. then can sell off the useless unfriendly samsung of mine! jon wanna buy a new samsung mp3 but sorry i poor nsman cannot afford mp3. my pay havent officially increased yet so shall be thrifty. if i'm lucky to get me new pay should be around 450 + 50 = 500, + 100 to back pay me for last month. then probably i shall earn my first 2k. sounds good hor. but i wanna learn driving already. last night went supper with jon and amanda who made so much noise on the car. laugh and talk so loud 1 leh siao siao. lol thats her. and wad's with her and jon lim? went to newton to eat. somebody drive dont know the way then happily reverse the car into the parking lot then bang into someone's lexus thinking that its the road hump. heng heng the alarm nvr sound off sia later must pay no need eat liao. had white carrot cake, sting ray and oyster omlette. oh pls i think our money was cheated la. the stingray so small 12bucks. ccb. i go laopasat cheaper leh. nvm anyway its the company that matters right? tonight dont know goin out for supper again with yina and all. tonight gt champ league chelsea vs liverpool! if liverpool win then zai zai liao. and Fearless is showing on chan 62 now.

btw last wk some bloody ccb kias play punk with my family. drive purposely hog the path of my dad's car. then purposely drive wrong direction. too bad my dad nt cool enough to play with him till the end. i already angry till damn sian already. reach the elevator seem them again call my dad porkchop. my lj you bitch better stfu. looks educated but definitely doesnt seem so. make so much noise for what? sad to say my dad doesnt have to skill to take on sg-eans. doesnt understand them enough. on the lift kpkbknnb still say porkchop. turn around to diao the bitch then can diam. actually i wonder how do i look when i'm angry. havent been angry for like years?

i'm like dying to watch phantom but i dont have the money to do so. poor right. nvm la. learn driving drift on road jio girls better. lol! and everyone's booked in already. i'm doing so tml 12.30pm. friday go sentosa to battalion games. and yina's bday is arriving. how sia.. buy what? lol pls give me some hints and signs thanks. oh i suddenly have an inspiration! lol kk shall buy nxt week. and i probably may get my debit tml. dying to get it too.

anyways i hope i get to catch up with my friends again soon. notice: nxt gathering for POC3. make yourselves free thanks. nxt sat better have supper again. lol.

till then, cya!

revamped.

2007-04-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

as you can see i've just revamped the whole blog. it's like a wow la cause i spent a couple of hours on this. first time change blogskin leh must yaya papaya abit. and i've also changed the music cause i think the music cmi to fit in the blog. lol.

and i forgot to mention that we had swimming at commando's camp on wed. basket my plt so many cannot swim sia. then i long time nvr swim liao go chiong 13 laps and my friends say i crazy. ppl here like swimming ma cannot meh. relive old hobbies. then got relay competition which we lost. our ppl here cannot swim ma the rest all like pro. i chiong my best also close up 1/4 or max. 1/2 a lap nia. they lapped us la pls. bwg already right?

today wanted to go to UOB to apply for debit. but ended up staying home cause lazy to go out. and now's san miguel in jakarta. tonight's epl again. oh well, a typical weekend again i guess. and my dad's returning later.

till then, cya!

How unlucky can a week get?

2007-04-21T01:35:00.000+08:00

woke up at 9.30 am this morning! first time in army get to see sunlight when you wake up. other than the other time at mohawk after 24k route march today was another good day. or rather we deserved that rest. my plt is like a sai kang plt. to me we've been ill-treated like dog shit! but i was awaken by the 1,2,3,4 countings of don't know who doing PT. sucks la. wad a week. so tiring. live firing 2days in a week. didnt even get to try for marksman tho. anyway better that i dont on tt day too. zero-ing was shit and my shots landed everywhere. went for section live firing yest and got screwed around by RSM for running wrongly both times and not pointing rifle properly. kaoz eh. i practice nobody tell me wrong right. i point my rifle like that for the past few months lor. then ask me redo a few times sia. shag till cannot shag. today also. play games also unfairly treated. wah laoz eh. i think my plt is like pushed around like nobody's business la. at least we not last today.

oh and sgt. gary is looking for me! hahaha. not that i want to siam him la but today run here run there damn shag already. try to talk to him also wierd man. doubt he recognises me too. so maybe i shall just wait and see! he really looks different from the last time i saw him ma. last time contacts in camp specs. how i know its him right?

so today ended with atgm 1st, scts 2nd, pnr 3rd, mtr 4th. sucks right. after that half broke up to play pool. wanted to join them after going home to bathe tho. then walked with km and jiahui to help them flag cab at bayshore park. then just nice received a msg to go for dinner! then chiong home on a 197 lor. so damn paiseh la i smelly like just finished field camp like that then board the bus. thats why i lazy to squeeze in a packed 31. everyone will just die from suffocation. sian sia wkend must make a trip to beach rd again to buy stuff for course. sian sian. might as well make my 2nd home there. then moved on to century square at tampines for dinner with yina and yz. guess what? i haven't been there in such a long time that i lost my sense of direction. couldn't locate the stupid sakae. wished for ding tai fung tho. miss the xiao long pao and the zha jiang mian. and i ate an ikura don for dinner. lol doesn't sound like i'll be full right? obviously, japanese food cannot be compared to hk and japan. jap food in hk worth $50 will be better than $100 worth of it in sg in terms of both quality and quantity. needless to say jap is the best la. duh! wish i can go there again to eat shop eat shop. oh and i finally treated yina. wah lao eh owe like for a million years liao so now no need nag alr. lol! wanted to eat some ice-cream for supper la but don't know eat wad. ended up at mc.cafe for my cappucino! then had a loooooooooooooong chat for quite some time till 11.15+ then took our respective transports home. lol. and we were like discussing about different types of guys being sensitive, and the issue of money-saving and the behaviour of men and women being the effect of social gaze. cheem right. NUS FASS study such stuff. if i were to study that i will just cry there.

on the way home i played my NDS! my Custom Robo finishing liao.. soon! i reached home realised that i missed the Manu 7-1 Roma game. shit sia. didn't even manage to glimpse the highlights of the goals. sibei sian. and i doubt if they're gonna show the replays of midweek games. how boring can that get? oh btw i'm booking in on monday afternoon! i've got NTU interview in the morning that's why. bloody hell i think i'm stupid cause i wanted to put accountancy as first choice but business is above it now. don't know why la. how dumb can i get? hope i do well tho. hope i can switch to accountacy too. lol. of course i'm still aiming for the LKC scholarship at SMU with double degree. oh well i've been watching tv for such a long time since i've returned home. its time to sleep!

anyway, bottomline and morale of the story of the day:
start saving money!
=X

new music. or old, rather.

2007-04-15T18:44:00.000+08:00

i've just installed music again after a long time. i like it coz of kim hee seon. lol to all myth lovers enjoy. i just did it like 2hrs before book in so don't criticise me thanks! last post for this wkend.. shall try to change my skin nxt week..

Back to Blog.

2007-04-15T01:22:00.000+08:00

if anyone's still reading this im glad u survived. lol its gonna be a year since i last posted. and i realised the whole world still has their blog alive and i was so busy to even post. so now i suddenly thought of posting then here i am.

update to friends if u havent seen me in a long while:
finished bmt in mohawk coy and pop-ed on 13march. then went back to hk to shop eat visit. bought a couple of stuff with my hkd ang pow and brought back the ps3. 3 games only tho so nothing much i guess. only played once with my bro which was considered a 'test'. then now im enlisted in 3sir selarang camp at changi. as in im like so near changi prison. maybe to scare of prisoners from escaping i guess. lol coz we're like supposed to be urban ops. and till now have touched nothing on urban. just did battalion pt and weapons training and a field camp which ended yest. and im carrying a SAW which is so bulky and sian to clean. tml's my ATP or rather marksmanship test. hope i get it and increase my stupid salary. btw im still getting 350 pay. why? tio cheated by govt. afterall im only an infantry pioneer which is something like a combat engineer just ow so shiong. and ppl wanna pick a fight with me on the first week of posting. abit siao right? everyday in 3sir i miss mohawk coy man. miss all my friends in there. today's supposedly a charity play at DBS and im supposed to go with my plt mates and guess wad. kenna cheated coz our field camp change from sun to sat to fri. how idiotic. simply retarded la. basically our lives are played around with coz we're just some PTEs.

yeah and im getting my interviews with NTU biz and SMU biz soon. scared me when they always tried to call me when i was in camp and i couldnt pick up the phone. either i missed the call or phone was off. bo bian la cannot carry phone for lessons. wad to do. hope i do get a dbl deg. at SMU tho and tt LKC scholarship after i take my SAT. if anyone wanted to know my A's grades i didnt do very well la. honestly. or rather for my own standards.

now as of today almost all my friends all in army already, namely jon, wx, rick, alex, peh and all. jon in divers dont know how sia. the rest i guess all went to either SISPEC or OCS. not like me so unskilled-ed to go. or rather i cmi for the IPPT part. hate it la. just because of a few chinups nia also wanna kpkb. sianz. all into depression mode. me too and i've got 20months in 3sir. song bo. and max i'll get is a CPL. wtf la. nostalgic. lol. anyway i've completed Lunar Knights on my NDS which is quite fun. after completing still can restart and continue. i think like quite bo liao-ed eh. play something over and over buay sian? and i completed Virtua Tennis 3 on the PSP. its like damn fun la.. addicted like mad. and my bro's brought it with him to Shanghai. he just left today on the 0055 plane on china airlines. i think it will suck on the 9hr plane ride. steady la today at airport saw his gf's parents and the sis. dont know why the parents can talk to me so much also. unexpected la. quite sad la see my bro leave for so long like 3 months+. and my dad's always overseas for quite sometime and my mom lonely stone at home. also sian. basically i guess my family is like divided into 4 parts. dad - hk, mom - home, bro - shanghai, and me in 3sir. in camp first wk i cried sia missed my family. maybe you'll think im gay but no. suddenly after i enlisted in NS i became very family-person know. dont know why but i really miss my family. maybe last time whole day band band band 24/7 and neglected them i guess. now different liao. i guess my wkends most probably devoted to family time. or maybe parents time. or maybe mom time.

so wad am i up to lately? nothing i guess. feel like pooling but lazy to bring my cues out. maybe mushroom or fungi grow already. lost touch already i guess. hangout at home listen music, wkends are devoted to EPL, and arsenal win bolton 2-1 today. i quite shocked too coz losing streak. but nvm yeah, now arsenal 4 place. hope they overtake liverpool again tho. yeah and i'm on Custom Robo Arena on NDS which is quite fun. you get to customize your robo and fight with many ppl. abit no life and all but wad to do. NSman. its really sad la. how different can someone else's life get? ppl ask me why i nvr go club. dont know leh. guess its not really my cup of tea. go there kua char bo can la.. drink drink also can. but lazy travel so far. and also my lights out timing adjusted to army life 2230 already. now stay up so late already quite bth. and btw tkband got silver in this yr's indoor judging. how do i describe it? expected? pitiful? sad? somewhere along that line. last sat go listen already stun tio. standard so low ar? messy here messy there. unclean here and there. all just anyhow whack. basically i'll reinstate my point. nowadays ppl join band for the sake of what? cca points and just because band is famous and all. they come out without any devotion or whatsoever. if u ask me i'll tell u that i would gladly go back to playing my tuba but i havent gotten back the hang of it. i would love to get back the feeling when you thought you played great. well it hasn't came back for me. yet. as much as i would like to play it won't come overnight and all. and yina's been asking me to play for tjcab. i would love to. but has factors too. firstly i cant play well already. second the ppl are getting stranger and stranger. only friends like gen, twain, ttk, tz, ed, hs, pam and maybe some others whom i can link up with. the rest just cant la. cannot communicate means cannot. try for 1 yr still cannot. wad to do. end up i pon band and all. sorry guys. leaving is better than staying to be a burden. don't argue with me on that coz i think im right.

well it has been some update this time. lol yina if you're reading thanks for your patience and your monthly readings. lol. waiting for my updates. hahaha. now perhaps you should be happy with this! lol tml i'll be booking in at 2000. and i don't know wad's up this wk again in camp as usual, coz we're just MEN. so i guess i'll just end this post here. thanks and have a nice day!=)

p.s. - if you all wanna meet up or something can always ask or call me and meet up during wkends! and i'm dying to watch phantom but there's only 97bucks tix left. shit. i'm like not rich and NSF pay only certainly cannot afford such luxury. lol. and i hope i can successfully organise a class outing on 1may labour day for spidey 3.

World Cup Fever -----> JCT hell.

2006-06-24T01:52:00.000+08:00

im like practically dead la. 1 month of studying = shithead. dont know wad ive been doing. i thought i studied well enough and also revise on yr1 physics. now i do papers all cannot do. wth man. really damn shitty. confidence 0%. has always been liddat la kaoz. still wanna aim 3As for a lvls. wtf man. is it only a dream or can it be a reality. i dont know. i still wanna aim at least all Bs for jct. now wad man. die la. im like dying. no morale. hate jc. hate school. hate studies. how man. i'm already like exhausted la. too much for me to take. suffocation is occuring.

im like staring blankly into 1 fking physics question. looks so simple yet i dont know how to do. wtf man. am i like a freaking man with a pig brain. ccb la bth alr. really wanna get over with school quick and the syllabus better end and revision better start. just solved a freaking easy phy question involving some stupid thinking. really wtf la. knn. diuz.

so much to this bloody world cup. czech republic is gone. italy sucks. brazil sucks. portugal sucks. spain reserves suck. kaoz all make me lose money.

im like damn pissed now la. bth. sorry for this wu liao update.

dont worry. i'll still be the lifetime supporter.

2006-05-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

today was quite a tragic day. i could feel the pain and sorrow. pretty emotional there.

'go peh peh!'
'peh peh jiayou!'
'peh peh dont give up!'

actually its the first time i cheered on so hard for a friend.
i really dont know wad to say but i hope he feels better now.
mm i shall not talk abt it or more today.

to this special friend of mine: ur the best.=)

remove that facade. my heart is painted with joy over rotten sorrow.

2006-05-21T02:04:00.000+08:00

i just heard great news. tj badminton team is in the semis. they'll win rjc for sure. im terribly happy for that friend of mine. friends do give good hope and encouragement i guess.

today was prelude 26. i bought 4boxes of nougats. 2 i gave 2 yr2s and my section and 1 gen wanted it la. lol. worse still. i came late. i also didnt know why la.. stupid idiot. then i bought circle tix in the end sit stall. really wth. tjband really rocks. comadarie and friendship. i enjoyed the perc ensemble. the stage band. GR. and the multiple impromptu encores. it rocks.

my life is full of regrets. i dont know wth i have missed. i wish i could turn back time. i always thought i've performed lots alr.. maybe it should be a break. oh wtf. i missed a deal. a big deal. really a million wtfs. as i sat there as an audience.. millions of memories came to my head. sorrow and joy merged into 1. a feeling indescribable. i dont know how to react. it sucks. i am so damn happy for the band. really. the looks upon their faces. the coolness. overall fantastic. on the other hand. i sat there like an idiot. and edmund was there complaining. wtf u wanna complain tell me for fuck. kns scold me wad u wan me to do. knn bring my box of nougats home. sorry i didnt ask it from u. my heart yearned for wad i had before. the fire. the determination. the respect. the ability to contribute. to ability to make a difference. wad am i now? a big fat idiot sitting in the audience and going wooh and clapping instead of being there. yeah.. i blew my own chance. really wanna die. i sat there with lotsa thoughts in my head. confusion. everytime its only if. and only if. and more of that. seeing my friends celebrate is a good thing. the worst part is u arent with them. i understand the pain of nt being into something. omg. i dont think i have done anything right already. nowadays im wasting my life away. forsaken. depressed. alone.

wanted to stay out all night. but my friends didnt wanna. i didnt wanna go home. i dont know wad to say. nothing is meaningful to me. how does it feel? experience it and understand it yourself. ended up heading to hk dimsum and speaking canto. nt bad food but i kinda liked the iced milk tea. then headed to shaw to watch grandma's house which isnt bad. lots of cock. and had a barcadi which sucked. the orange sucks. and took a cab home. and sitting back here having reflections.

i dont know wad to type on now.
i cant continue.
really.
i dont know wad to say.
i dont know how im feeling now.
i wanna die.

dont worry my friend. i'll be there.

2006-05-20T02:54:00.000+08:00

these 2 days have been very,very long. first of all i slpt 2 hrs10min on champs league night. was watching arsenal happily taking the lead till laarson came and spoilt the whole show. damn u laarson. damn u. and frankly alumnia sucks. f.ed up keeper. eat shit ba. final score: barca 2-1 arsenal. damn sad. i lost 20bucks. saddening. btw good news for arsenal fans - thierry henry is set to sat in arsenal after signing another 4-yr deal. news @ www.arsenal.com then the nxt day i sian diao coz library was closed for the whole week or wadever not. btw i still have 2 library books at home havent return. lazy. then went hub to slp for 2hrs. drooled quite abit la. ya i know digusting thanks. at least i only slp during tt break. then i played soccer till 5pm la. damn tired. dont know why i played also. maybe cause its my class' regular timetable now. after sch soccer on thurs. nt bad la i can exercise. lose weight i hope. then i played defender for almost all the matches i've played. was damn tired when i reached home. sit ard at home also can fall aslp. then i bth i lie on the floor in my room to slp for abt 20min. after dinner went to slp again nvr do tuts. damn sian.

then it was morning today. slp for abt 8hrs plus. knn this morning i saw the sky bright scared like hell. thought i late for sch again. heng i see clock i can be on time i rush like dog to sch liddat. then attended lessons in sch as usual lor. after sch went parkway to eat pastamania. i nvr knew that they had a student discount after 2pm. in the end my beef bolognese upsize which usually cost 8bucks plus cost ard 4.50max. zai bo. then went home with dc to pick up his tennis racket. then i found my old photos somewhere in my house. had amazing finds today. i realised the chiobu whom every1 talked abt was in the same kindergarden as me. further more. in the concert i think i mc-ed with her. then dance oso with her. omg. so qiao la. lol then found my cousin's photo too. dc keep on asking me whether she now chio anot. then after bathe went to meet jon and hc at kv. played terrible games there. nb i lose if i play well(my own standard) nvm.. but lose cause of stupid mistakes is f.ed up. seriously. damn sian la.. then rush to eat marche at suntec. then end up go theresee chiobu. seriously la. me and jon gt common hobby there. but serious wad. then eat rosti and pizza and abit of barcadi. nice sia nice taste. seriously. pity quite ex. then we chiong all the way to kallang theatre for dance concert. for the first time in my whole life. literally, i paid 100% attention to the whole concert. i think its fantastic. energetic, cool, stylish. hahah plus all the girls to see. should have bought 16bucks tix to sit in front watch. wad a pity. then saw ms tan and ms chew dance hindi! song bo. lol.. remem for life. ms tan, will there be phy tut. on monday? lol.. we even video-ed it down. bo liao right. then after tt we wanna watch movie and drink or something 1. in the end both also nvr do. went kallang kfc drink free flow for like half hr till 11.30. nothing to do sia.. nobody wanna go out. then shared cab with ben, mich, cheryl and mich home.

yeah.. thats abt it. really tired. its abt 3am now. i had a conversation with 2friends just now. it really reminded me of my past. i really understand. i really do. sometimes, things dont go your way. wad to do? turn it back and adjust. i know things didnt go well for you. i can sense your pain, your fear, your anger, ur misery, well almost everything u can feel. almost. i know wad it feels like to be in ur position. dont be pessimistic. we have faith in you. really. we think u are the best. who cares wad the rest thinks? every1 makes mistakes. nobody is perfect. even the greatest leaders on earth had made mistakes before. why blame it all on yourself? you have already gained all the respect i can give. anything bad happens, it is always a cause of both parties. maybe its just a lesson that is hard to accept and deals a big blow to you. i have had such an experience. i still have it. as a friend of yours[if u do consider me 1=)] i want to say that u really have the thing to be a great leader. dont let ur fear suppress ur true potential. it is a waste. channel those energy to a postive aspect. sometimes its not abt the bad things which happen. ppl look at how u react to things instead. u have my full faith in you . really. dont give up. dont think of stupid things. dont ruin ur future by such a stupid incident like this. nt worth it at all la pls. i know now u are indeed confused, shattered, and 'nt understandable'. after u fall, when u get up, u'll fly higher. u'll be like the eagles soaring up in the sky nt like some crows and mynahs in singapore. ultimately, u need to stand on ur own. we can only stretch out ur hand for u to support u. u arent useless. just forget abt it. u'll be a much better person after this. 10 yrs down the road i'll call u out for lunch. bet u'll make it somewhere someday. confirm guarantee 100% plus chop.

as for me, the memories or trauma still remains. the stupidity of I myself alone is enough to cover up everything. whole day kenna bastarded abt it. wad to do. really lousy wad. i dont blame ppl for it. i admit. till today, im still quite sian diao by it. i always try to avoid the topic. dont wanna talk abt such a topic. loser here thanks. kaoz whens the last time i had a mood for such a post. but i really had a flashback of all that i've been thru. all i can say is. im stupid alright. sorry to every1 who had placed high hopes on me. tho i really thought i had the chance there. but apparently, i wasnt good enough. this is clearly reflected by wad status i have now. wad person i am. really. im afraid i might fail A lvls. how? i wont forget my past. even if i tried to. its painful. its a thorn in my heart. stuck deep in. operation oso cannot remove unless i die. damn jialat. the teacher was talking about the SGC or something. its a write-up for ur own cca record. me? write wad sai. i have nothing. i have accomplished nothing. its a facade in disguise. overall, im still a failure. accomplisher of nothing. i realised i accomplished the mission of obtaining something-nothing. sounds cool. im dead meat. i need help now. i wanna cry. everything's not in my way since dont know when. i really wish i can express every feeling from my mind onto something. then can tear burn destroy or wadever it. like computer file. but unfortunately its like a super strong worm. even norton anti-virus mcafee all those sai also cannot locate the problem and find a solution. thus the only solutions is ignorance. which is nt an option. wad can i do? i have no means and ways anymore. just stay at home mug and fail tests la. pro right. stupid idiot no.1. haiz i dont know wad more to say. suddenly my head is like a stuck pipe. clogged up. not thinking straight alr. now's 3.20+. perhaps i should go slp and everything will be alright.

to u my dearest friend,
just forget abt yest.
u are the best.
u beat the rest.
u can beat this test.
go and kill those pests.

yours sincerely,
t.chow

TJ Vball lifetime supporter.

2006-05-17T21:31:00.000+08:00

today went to toa payoh sports stadium to support tj vball team. oh man. lifetime supporter here. ppl here shout and cheer like dont know wad la. then damn sian diao cause of the close fight between AJ and TJ. then they here and there a few cheers only. quite sianified la. i think they werent that good lor. then this time they changed tactics use the stupid tall guy in front.i feel that tj could've beaten them la. so close. 3-2 leh. last set 15-11. kns. eat shit la. damn sian lor. i oso feel sian for the tj ppl. how the nvr say die spirit, the determination and passion there is indeed impressive and respectable. i fully understand how they feel man. seriously sian diao. so close yet so far. and thats the last time they are gonnna fight on for tj. cry la. nvm la. tj is still proud of all of them. want to console also dont know wad to say. later say more wrong things then jialat. haha but the good thing there is can go kpkb AJ. they gt the AP guy, fei zai and the tall guy. and the few 'referee kayu's.. and knnbccb. they win liao they run with flag then come cut across tj area. nb. if i were the sc i just block his way. kaoz i think that is humliating and arrogant. seriously bastarded. anyway vball is cool.

then went to toa payoh the complex to eat organ rice. kaoz. then my teeth pain sia. maybe its the wisdom tooth growing making me smarter for A's. then cannot chew the rice properly. damn sian. then dont know why suddenly like gt running nose. damn sian la. then i took a 40min+ ride home on a 31. try to slp cannot slp. then saw my neighbour with her bf! lol. i also dont know whether she recognises me. nvm la. nonsensical and insignificant guy here. and its like 9.40pm now and im damn bloody tired. supposed to finish my linear transformation tutorial today. guess i wont.

sian la i damn scared of A's. every moment i feel as if i wont do well. whole day fail test then low morale liao. nt like TK ownage la. then my class the girls go form the stupid slackers' club. wah kao. its so suaning us la. then we are called the mugger dong. reverse meaning ma. sian la i realised i should have done my tutorials last yr. i didnt do my phy tutorials and some mechanics tutorial last yr. damn jialat la. i like didnt do well for promos last yr now wanna try to get As for JCT. actually might be possible cause i gt do tutorials. this fri's dance concert and sat's prelude. and im nt performing. then every1 ask me why. ppl like wanna die alr la cause studies like shit. nb my class like so zai then i whole day bottom of class. if liddat carry on i gg alr. i thought of quitting sch go poly know. go study my banking and finance. thinking of doing applied maths or stats at nus. tho smu is attractive. lol like b1ng said smu gt more chiobu. haha thats damn true la. haha dont know la. pray hard i get straight As for A's lor. and my gp must pass omg. btw yest i went to talk to ms chew. wah finally sia. whole day do tut forget. aiya sorry i abit irresponsible there. well deep inside i still support tj band all the way. lol.

oh ya tonight 2am gt champs league final. arsenal vs barca. i bet 20bucks arsenal win sia. but i also gt a feeling barca might win. thats why its a must watch match. and kns i havent bought the maroon arsenal jersey. sian i love it la. haiz ppl here poor. and i damn lazy long time nvr change bedding for hamsters sia. haha abit stink there. zz tired sia. eh yina hope this is long enough la hor. enjoy.

revival.

2006-05-07T21:00:00.000+08:00

ok thanks to all. i revived my blog with some holy potion. thanks for reminding that this is may. ya and i havent updated my blog since the date shown below. wooooooooow. clap for me can. thanks.

its so happening! i dont noe how to tell you-who-are-reading-this-blog my past activities. mm. lets start from the most recent! mm. just this fri. went to sch for stupid spa. knn. if nt i could have slpt till 8+9 la wah kaoz. then i didnt sign pink form to leave sch. heng my dad clever drive in to pick me up. then go get some mac-break-fast then go CMPB. damn sian go in so scared sia. then photo-taking alr gt ppl kenna scolded. but they stupid wad to do. hail TJCians. before i continue i talking to nemo now and she just spelt 'hardcore' as 'harcore'. lol. and inside do so many tests blood, urine, eye, teeth, x-ray, audio, balls-check, and psycho test. i spent abt 4.5hrs there? wah heng i go morning actually. didnt see any1 i know. but saw these 2 vjcians whom i suspect are bandeez. then go inside doc's room. put your hand over your mouth and cough. er i think only guys will understand tt sentence btw. then sit there do stupid computer test till wanna slp sia. kns. then finally i was freed from prison to go to vball match at CCAB. long time nvr go there since like last yr? when i was still in SNYO tt is. then tj vball zai zai la win aj vball 26-24 for both matches. ultimate. im like the no.1 vball fan now. then i cheer cheer di siao di siao then was so vulgar la. omg. then went to sim lim with darrell and jon to buy his earphones. knn DARRELL IS SO DAMN RICHASS. whole day complain no money can go buy earphone worth 110. and his old 1 was like 30bucks liao la. then went to new cathay watch MI3, was nice i guess. 4stars. 4.5. 5? haha u go watch and decide. no spoilers here thnx.

have been worming thru the past 1 or 2 wks. sorry to say im still the champ. dont mess with the best. and er. i playing tennis! omg. pro sia. er. more? dont know leh. i having my phy notes right in front of me now and tml gt stupid physics test. hope i do well tho. my bro is like playing Kingdom Hearts 2 now. then gt simba and the lion king all those shit. damn sian. dont know why my head is splitting now. btw poolers Efren Reyes was champion today at Ho Chi Minh city for San Miguel. er. tired headache la cant think. thanks cya soon.

sianified hols.

2006-03-17T00:28:00.000+08:00

damn sian la. thats how the hols are going and are gonna be. just came back from tj camp. damn sianz la. really did nothing much in particular during camp. just stole gen's laptop and slack ard. stayed up till 6.30am to do work. then wake at 8.30am cause every1 came making noise. irritating piece of shit. missed out first day cause was in tk. quite sian la. did FU steps but muz say change. sianified. and im like officially inducted today.

went for open houses over the weekend. won ipod nano black 1gb by answering 1 stupid question. he was giving away freen Sandisk thumbdrives by answering his questions. whether u right or wrong he still give. stupid right? then me raimi alex jon ng gt la. but zx nvr go. zz. then he finally was done with his thumbdrives and announced to give away ipod. then we chiong there lor. then he say 1st 1 step forward get to ans. then me and another 2 girls went. 1 of them tj tho. then play black and white i win. then he ask me ' who is the dean of the sci faculty?' then i dont know how to ans. heng he gimme 1min while the other 2 despo to ans. heng they help me find ans then i won it. so cool. smu was ok la. the career talk was so damn inspiring and helpful and useful. and nt to miss out 1 bunch of hot babes. the admin building abit hard to locate ar. the campus like so detached. sian diao.

so i decided i shall study one of these - math, appl. math, stats, quant. finance or business admin.

then tml goin night cycling with class. so cool. but im dead tired now. slp 7hrs in 2days sian lehz. nights.

adapting to new life.

2006-02-25T19:09:00.000+08:00

sorry folks who've been trying to see my new posts and updates. its been 149083901283yrs since i did.(ttz gay) the past time nt updating was busy with sch life and stuffs. and band. and wads more? lol i cant think of anything more i guess. life's been such a bore. study study study. everyday end at 5.15 is like damn sian la. chinese lessons i'll go to slp. mr.lee's lessons study mechanics and test every 1 or 2wks. mr.ng is all abt taking out tutorials and doign his stupid stats stuff. physics nt too bad with ms tan. quite sian la.. as i've said i guess jc is really lifeless. just cant wait to do my A's. to end it all. but then, i feel so unprepared. was telling some ppl in sec sch can own ppl in the class and top without studying. jc ar. wth. my class is filled with clever and smart and hardworking ppl who put a slack look as a facade. kns. then i thought they really slack but they do their tutorials faithfully. which is wad i do nowadays la. must be consistent! must not stop! must not lose the momentum... must not slack. other than all these stuff must still do other stuff:

prac tuba
workout

actually nowadays i have little time to prac. go home rest awhile then do tutorials then thats it. the end of the day. where gt time. of course ppl say tt playing dota takes up time but i believe must also play abit la. relieve stress right. so.. bo bian lor. sucks lor. i knew it la. going band is killing me. hope i have enough stamina to last till prelude at least.

and workout! wth. mondays for swimming, tuesdays for grp pe, and thurs for gymming. is that enough? i dont think so. lol.. i need to run. need to train on 2.4, pull-ups and SBJ. all sucks. and we're gonna have mock napfa soon. jialat. sure go s paper 1.

today felt good till afternoon. went out to fix my bike. gonna have a cool 'new' bike. the bike overhauling cost abt 400bux. nt bad la.. relative to the original price of bike is like 25% nia. but a new bike of abt same quality at least 600-900. lol so wad for. fix la. the shopkeepers are damn nice. sending it over to me on monday 9pm. cool.. think i gonna love it like a baby. then hope my class is confirm going night cycling again during hols on fri night. pls dont cancel.=) then i tried to fix raimi's bike also la. but i have no means to remove the wheel. sorry man. then went over to buy stuff for the injured hamster. it, being the mom, was raped by its unfilial sons. its scarred damn badly i thought it lost its eye and ear. heng its recovering well now.

then come home dota. darrell told me he went to buy shoe. zz pangsehed me la. so sad. then i thought i no need buy shoe liao. heng he told me 11march gt again. hope so ba. then can go NUS on same day and for band camp. cool. then the trial of new heroes of the 6.28 map sucked. lots of miscommunication led to me being ultimate sian diao for the day. died like 9 times? dont know how to use the bloody witch doctor. wth. lame.

then now im sitting here blogging. supposed to finish Ng's and SHM tutorial la. must chiong liao. after this i go eat and do liao. must concentrate and not lose focus of 3As i aiming to get at end of year.

cya.

tml's vday.. or rather.. friendship day.

2006-02-13T22:09:00.000+08:00

woo. long time no post. sorry to those who keep on coming. thanks for support. hahahaha. lame me. sian sia. today gt scolded by ms.kwan for talking in class and. for my language. zzz. nvm la. i scared gp fail for A's.

today lunch was discussing wad we should wear tml. raimi and hafiz suggested the businessmen suit. lol. can la i dont mind. but lots of my class ppl all think its poser. i think so too. but think it'll be outstanding. worst part is tt we gotta run tml. siao 1 leh. dont know watching movie tml or not. oh well. i hope can spend tml worthwile. though i wanted to ask some1 out. but not right time. plus must think carefully ok. if not like last time then gg liaoz. guess i'll just be plain and simple this yr.. as i've always been.

lagging in tutorials yet again. havent finished vert. circle, probability and phy tys. sian diao. and my f.king hamster is gnawing the f.king cage. irritating sound. ya. damnit no time to play with them and change bedding. bet they'll stink soon. anyway today was band auditions.

i was talking to bern just now over stuffs. haha. i didnt expect him to feel such a way though. although i can clearly understand him. cause i have experienced it before. haha still feel it too.
can really feel it. then he was telling me story lor.. finally talked to him like that. first time. nvm same boat jump down sea together. lets go! oh btw i still pending on whether to go bangkok. if i ever make it back to where i was, or even better.

oh yeah. hanafi la. as usual. whole day complain play like sai. just like me in the past. lol. he's much better than me liao. thats a bloody obvious question. anyway, i wondered wad will happen if i didnt appeal into tj.. if i wasnt in band. i dont know. lifeless creature. yeah, then the sso bassonist's son was around. lol. heard he's damn pro. oh well. hope so. and btw. im such a f.king lousy senior anyway. and sorry to my mortal that i havent written anything to you.

then went parkway after sch to get stuff for my class girls. wanted to buy for og but dont know wad la. in any case derrick bought for them yummy burger. lol cute sia he. in the end spent 2hrs there ended up with 8 boxes of famous amos cookies. memories... nvm. its over too=) cheers.. look forward to future. and me and raimi gt a cool parkway parade bag. =) and shimin was asking me about you-know-who. i think now's inappropriate time la. need to check out more and wait and see. then went home meihui was at bus-stop. funny sia.. she said bye to me! and i asked raimi how she know me. he said - you my friend of course she knows la.. if not how R knows you? lol a big WAD-EV-ER.

yeah then reach home at abt 9.30 and my mom complains its late. siao 1 leh. nowadays nag me like siao. of course i'm living like a sec4 coz thats hows she's treating me right. kns.

anyway my mom told me to get into my room at 10.30.
ard there liao le ba.
tml is chicken's bday. ahhaha.
and congrats to those who scored well for their o's and chill for those who thinks not.. relax and find alternative routes to your future!
and happy vday ba..
nights!

i think some ppl are cock-anathans.

2006-02-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

gt some1 tell me its my friend. but i dont believe la. he was like confirm 100% guarantee sumpah plus tok. then ok believe abit. cause i nvr believe that they will do such stuffs. until i heard it from them for myself. come on la. even though i may know them for a yr plus, i still have faith in them. they didnt do it.

tt SOAB manager must be a great big liar. must be dulan exaggerate. confirm. they wouldnt have done it la. uncle. brag pls brag more realistic can. especially if its friends i know. eh. come to think of it. maybe they nvr treated me as friends la. lol. but. i did. but seriously. even though nowadays i might not have made much conversations with them, i still treat them as friends. conclusion : i still trust them. so. SOAB. f. off. hands off my friends will you?

btw today's band. bitch was talking all the way. me and ben were like STFU pls. and the other 'small' girl was happily in that section being prosters. lol. wadever. that one i dont care. but i think most of the rest i do care. sianz. i dont know la. gg.

sialar. maybe ppl thinking.
why chow so like tt today?
dont know. consider me pms.
was quite upset by the SOAB accuser framer.
ask him get lost alright?
to my friends: in you i will trust.

Overnight at the movies..

2006-01-28T21:49:00.000+08:00

shiok. 14hrs of slp. beat that..

the night before was abit of the night life. in the afternoon had CNY carnival which was quite fun. meeting old friends and juniors was something which brightened abit of my day. then had the band performance which i think nobody appreciated. uncultured audience. then chiong to my class stall try to help. but then of course helped mj and tk sell kacang puteh by shouting like dont know wad. alot of ppl claims tt i will grow up with this job la. zz. maybe nxt time see my under HDB not selling that but pirated CDs. then went back to be a pro HITMAN. sneaking around silently to smash ppl's faces. cool la. im like pro. geh geh then smash. pro kia. thanks. sorry abit of the ego. then who knows.. my og ppl came to smash me (-.-)" zz...... wah liaoz. BETRAYAL!
collected about total 800-900 i heard. nt bad la..

went for dinner at KL's house. had a steamboat with almost the whole class except hafiz calvin and wx.. good lor.. such a nice gathering. wonder when we'll have it again. lots of cock talking, bastarding and stabbing. haha fun. no bitching though. on the other hand, we had background music - KL's guarddog was barking like nobody's business. then her dad whacked her and like omg. i no heart to see. the dog must be in pain la. i nvr did tt to my dog. its so guai doesnt bark like tt.=) miss it in HK though.

after that went to 7-11 to pick up a bottle of HOOCH. i think Qp recommended me on tt which was nice. not too bitter with taste. liked it. lol then at bus-stop wait for bus then raimi's mom appeared and asked him whether he was smoking. hello, we dont look like bengs. although me and darrell were drinking some beer=X. heng she went off la dont like her to nag at us. then headed to bedok interchange to find nightbus to orchard. but dont have bo bian take cab to cini..

then bought tickets and played lan there. lol raimi was getting thrashed like mad. dota he died 5 times and i had none=) cs i was top fragger=) quake4 top fragger=) then played abit of ms too but figured tt it isnt logical to play ms there. after the quick pace of cs i felt dizzy+hooch = feel like puking. lol. no appetite to finish the nachos in theatre.

the movie was super nice. Memoirs of Geisha. it is one of the best few movies i've ever watched. jiang ziyi was super pretty la. except went she was fully maked-up(no such word i guess). anyway its a really cool movie. " A true geisha can stop a man in his tracks with one look." lol.. which leads me to question. how many such 'geishas' exist now? i believe none. cause i've nvr seen one to make me do that. LOL. haha sorry girls reading this. but i wanna watch it again. maybe gonna read the book. i think that the soundtrack is nice too....

then ended movie at 6am. then took 16 down to tk.. reached there at 6.30. so fast.. but we didnt get off so we decided to take a loop.. then reached again at 7am. then went in like dazed. said hi to a few ppl then decided to step outta school cause abit xtra. then went back in eat abit then play soccer. cool lor. long time nvr play liao. the youngsters there abit the rude ar. then watched concert which i fell asleep halfway. then kee hoe had to wake me up. oops i disappointed him that i dropped chem. i also disappointed myself. sian sia...

then went for band awhile took sectionals awhile. basket. i go there they improved liao. i zao i stand just abit way the deproved and slacked. KNS. sucks. saw hanafi. trying to drag him over to TJ for prac la.. when he comes TJband he's gonna be the only other tuba player. he's good lor. better than me. lol precisely any1 in TJband can beat me. i think i said this to gen or twain. lol wadever la. life goes on.. i hope.

happy cny every1.
happy cny to me.
happy cny blogger.com.

on the way to death.

2006-01-22T14:15:00.000+08:00

dying. too lazy to tired and update. dont know why i decided to update today too.

the past whole time was so busy. with sch work, og and band and more band.

tj band is more of nothing nowadays. side issue, used to be main till i-dont-know when. go there zuo bo go home. also dont know wads the point.

haha dont talk bout them la. this popped out only when i was talking to gen online the other day. she problem i also problem. share share abit la. then ppl complain break nvr pei her eat i whole day stay in library do work. come on lor stupid ppl here dont want distractions wad.

the past 2 fri nights and sats have been goin back to tk for meetings. gd sia. at least give them some help la. nvm 1. its gd to help no matter wad circumstances. then plotted things, executed things. nice. but then change of plans also alot. borrowed puszta from them for tj. borrowed P:MOD for tk. middle man. then watched the japan all marching band competition. they are superb. but in their context its easier for them to do too.

this morn did CIP. collected old newspapers and clothes. cleared 4blocks. gd efficiency. me alvin and clar were the fastest. and the other half of class was having shophouses instead. of course they faster la. then they say we slow. KNS. kpkb dont help still make noise. nvm its alright.

dead tired. 2nights ago slpt at 6am at francis's house. left tk at 3am for supper till 5am. then went his house dota-ed then slp. then wake up at 10am watch abit of FMA then go tk. then had long prac. too bad didnt complete wad were supposed to do. nvm la. 9sats left. GG. then after band yest taught DMNs macework. then went over bugis with flat phone. waited for wx kw and raimi who claimed to have waited for me for abt 3hrs. paiseh la. then shop for new bag. gonna wear tml ba. i spent 48bucks total. and this month my bank shedded lots of blood. shiok manz.

tired liaoz.
clap for me cause i did this.
thanks.
bye.=)

wad a bitch.

2006-01-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

kaoz. come home mom question me.

need tuition not?
wad tuition?
why tell me on friday?
why cant decide now?
wad subj u taking now?
why havent confirm?
why must change?
wad has chem and phy gt to do with maths?
where u go today?
how many ppl u go with?
other than sentosa?
other than ps?

this and that this and that. wah kao if i could i would just scream at her freakign face and ask her shut the hell up. seriously. nice is ok. too much is a bugger. kpo. extra. wadever.

today went harbour front meet rest, eat yoshi there. yeah.. i didnt get to go sentosa cause of rain and i was late. then went over ps to play arcade and then header over meridian to play pool. the girls always have nice time to window shop. guys gt nothing. and chicken is real good at virtual games man. wasnt really up there when pooling. contacts wasnt comfortable maybe i didnt wear for months. sian sia. ate dinner at food court and went home. meanwhile, my og was asking abt raimi and -blabla-.

yeah think i should log off. short update. check up on nus and smu admissions first. lol kk.
enough liao. nitez..

yesterday.. not today.

2006-01-08T14:58:00.000+08:00

yesterday woke up at 1.30pm. omg la. its like champion. latest so far in jc life. rocks on. just remem i couldnt slp on cause i promised muz to go back tk. then expected something which nvr happened la. lol. i think too much. but you'll nvr know cause maybe they love their ogl too much=) da bao-ed duck rice back to tk cause no chicken rice at keng bee restaurant. then met janice my 1st 3months classmate.. and her bro is in tk. wow. world is small.

then they had performance lor.. sec4s. then plotted on field quite a bit then the rain came. so sian. anticlimax. then realised jian an isnt leader anymore.. so alright.. its now left with jit rui, peggy and jun xiang. too bad they havent gt together yet. which they should la. if nt jialat. had to teach them lots on plotting.

then unexpectedly went for dinner at ms. Irene Joseph's bday party. lol ya. took a detour on the way there though. with cliff and hanafi. so on the way there had a long reflection of relationship with hanafi and recalling of the past. recalling of leadership. haha peggy made me remem things then i had to try to help her solve her problems. so on the bus 35 to tanah merah ferry terminal we had a long talk, long long long talk. yeah trying to show her the path. but for me its different. took everything up swiftly. it was real good. haha but nvm. ppl learn. so to the 3 leaders - its alright. not every1 gets things at the first go. any problem? call me, msg me.. lol wadever. CONTACT me. yeah la.. dont worry much although i bet MARCO is every1's idol and im not your idol=X anyway.. theres still time but make good use of time.
oh then at bday party sang happy birthday and top of the world which was her fav. song. then they wanna sing the tk song but i nvr ever learnt it from the very 1st day in band till now. lol. seriously. then had long informative chat with XU CHANG a.k.a JAMES.. updating one another and he did something to some1 beside him and was caught red handed=)

lol bet readers might not understand wad im writing here. but anyway.. this blog is just for me to shu1 fa1 gan3 qing2.

lol to make things clear the entry before wasnt to say im sore la and not slandering others, just abt my thoughts. stay cool, clear and relax=) no hard feelings. just i still believe that my og16 really rocks the whole orientation. no matter who says wad. thats a fact. to me at least=) cheers to all og16-ers!=))))))))))))

anyway this morn at church gt this woman called deb fung who is so pretty from Australia. her singing is really superb and zai and soothing and wad-more-you-can-add. then i went to get her cd and get her autograph and told her that her singing was nice and i liked it. hahaha ttz so not the pt btw. then had lunch with my mom's CG ppl.. then im back here. blogging, supposed to be doing holiday homework. hahaha. wadever man..

btw dont know why 2hamsters are raping the other in the big cage. wth is their prob? i put them in a shoebox and deprived them of food and water. wait SPCA sue me. haha but i put them back into the cage liao la.. so gd luck.

anyway i think fun is almost over and i should get serious real soon.
mugger i must and shall be.
3As i must get or i'll die.
reach the sky high.
or go eat sai.
tml rehi.
bye.
=)

- all love has been lost in a long time ago. just give it up. -

wad an O.

2006-01-07T01:20:00.000+08:00

i feel that i should update now. but i think i dont write bout my hols la.. lazy. but today was such a f.king day. knn. seriously.

it has been 4days, and miracles do happen. og16 bonded in 1 day. literally. the last 2 days were the best la k. how on. how enthu. how on fire. look at that la. we may not be the most point-gaining group, but our spirit says it all. superb is the word. excellent is another. baik. 16's teamwork is nice. cg28/06 rocks. hope all of them had fun under our leadership though. i'll try to go thru the o............

tues - 3/1
reached sch late. then brought og16 to sports comp to teach cheer and bond abit. surprisingly they were super friendly and no act coolsters and paikias in cg28/06. had the butterfly, dragon and bear game which raimi claims he used to bond the grp. lol. wth. btw im tired now.
then they were good la. they caught on superbly fast. they were loudest. most responsive. simply nothing more than the best. had a fun time teaching them dhum. although i had to learn myself. its really nice.

wed- 4/1
went for monopoly which the cg really went all out. tell u. 7 stations 18.5k pts. beat that. excluding teacher's 20k. shiok not. seriously. beat that.
we did our best regardless of ogl or not. enjoy together. suffer together. thats the way to be a good leader. of course i admit i am imperfect and not the best but i think i tried to be one. one station called circle of pain at bedok reservoir. then had to carry ppl and we had to rush. so me and jon just chap in. but then dont know why ppl dont wanna 1 person carry 1. which i did la=). one for all, all for one. sacrifice is worth it. sometimes, doing things for others is more fun than for yourself. would one rather sit aside and avoid pain or enjoy together and suffer together? i decided to choose the 2nd option. Man shouldnt be selfish.
anyway got back to school and mass danced all the way. steady bo. and after tt session we went to teach some of them retarded under lt2. they automatic ask. nice. and i think i successfully taught clovis running man i guess. which is an accomplishment. then had dinner with ogls and some ogms.

thurs - 5/1
wet games day. 1st game dirtiest and lost. kaoz. they grab 1 king and win our lead. wtf la k. lame. we only won 1 station of the day at the water bottle station which we won by 1 bottle. drew at volleyball. heard we lost damn jialat at newspapers. threw kenneth and weldon into water. we did wad we could for ixodus. de-x. every1. thats the spirit ppl should have.
then teach more mass dance in hall which was super tiring and hot and wad not. sian diao. then chiong to suntec with my o2 class tee which rocks the hell outta others. o2 is nvr the same without the ppl. of course, 28/06 is nvr the same too. danced like siao there ran ard there then police come. some idiots ran on road and bang into ppl. bodoh sial. create trouble. we then had supper at the koi garden and had lots of cock talk.

today - 6/1
came sch damn late. ogms sad cause didnt see any1 infront. sorry ppl. we do love u guys.=). they did some secret stuff during item preparation. nice. then we fixed dance and skit in an hr. look at tt. who's the best. library talk raimi was missing. had to help out cheer more more.=). then audition. obviously we were the best. og16 was like celebrating our success. with the chicken dance. i crapped tt up la k. bedok central for lunch which i gt abit high and talked nonsense. bi xia, charmaine and caroline went to secretly buy flower dont think i dont know. then went sch perfected mass dance and skit. which i seriously think is the best. no bias no nothing. pure truth from my heart. then rushed to hall.
the arrangement was f.ked up. small stage we cant squeeze. so we tried to fix positions for abt 15 min and actors didnt rehearse which i think is alright.

1st og performance from zenith wasnt bad with their stomp act and mai-ah-hee. which i didnt think was nice. dont know how they win. seriously. nothing to say, no comments.
2nd was f.ked up from azurus. bang other clans which is so bastard. seriously. its not funny even in the name of fun. no sportsmanship quality AT ALL. hate it. kpkb. it is really outrageous and overboard ttz all i wanna say.
didnt watch the 3rd but guess wasnt good.

ours? i pep talked them again and again and to psyche them up, make them garang. nicely done. our performance was really excellent. 1st time i can literally see the fire in them burn. the skit wasnt too bad but i really wanna complement on the dance. best of the best of the best. literally. i heard many ppl said tt my og dance was superb. neat and together. cool? you've got it. zhi gen(chicken) was damn on. nice cool guy i like him. aaron too. haha dont jealous. these 2 main stars. i love every1. then most unexpected. the gave raimi sunflower then on stage ask us up give flower. then.
they went T.
TCHOW.
say he's got the build(fat).
and that he's so cute(really meh).
that makes me ill(yeah).
which can kill(alright).
=))))))))

haha. lame stuff. thanks every1. then raimi intro-ed me to every1 which was abit abrupt. thanks. lol.

i have to say that i enjoyed every moment with my cg members and ogms. love them all. belows a cheer for them yet again.

i say D-E-X (clap clap) x3
STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and ppl go OOH-OOH-AHH(clap clap) x3
ole, ole ole ole.... we are De-X, we are De-X x2
De-X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

charmaine(or maine as she calls herself) was an outstanding girl from the rest la. really appreciate it. the attitude. really. special. different. come on. this is the first time in my entire life i meet some1 ard my age like tt. i like it. dont know wads the feeling la.
btw something strange happened which i will not say.
today's supper was nice and wierd too! and raimi's secret admirer is courageous. haha................. nvm. had supper with charmaine, bi xia and caroline and jon and raimi and 1 more girl whom i keep on forgetting her name. nvm. nice meal together with craps ard. hope to see you all soon. hope to meet up. love you guys. totally rock. we might not have won. i know. i also dont know why. all this loss is very sao xing. we should've won over zenith's pail noise. im serious bout this. ixodus should have been best house if nt for some last min stupid shit. nvm, nonetheless, orientation was successful, mission completed, gg. ORD for orientation and im back to normal as an ordinary TJcian. i wanna stick with 28/06 though. lol with my o2 ppl too. i love every1.

time's late. gtg.
tired. raimi said he'd call me back on the secret admirer thing but no reply.
np la slp and stuff.
nights...........

Goodbye, Good Luck, Good day.

2005-12-12T01:21:00.000+08:00

its confirmed. im gonna say bye already. tml i'll be leaving for hk at like 11+am. while band members are busy practising for fiesta. hope they'll sound better without me. oh and sorry to ben again for not playing with you for fiesta.

anyway. there hasnt been a change though i heard about it. so just forget it la. hate has already been brewing. and its getting stronger each time i know that something wrong is done. so sorry. wad can i do? its final.

broke out from camp yest. camp was ok la. except some unappreciative ppl who complained lots. completely spoilt the fun. 100% pissed. but wad to do. keep quiet. i'm in no position to say anything. camp was ok la. preferred last yr's camp though. longer and dirtier. and more daring. chalet was alright. didnt go kayaking cause i suck and have no talent in such a sport. confirm sink la. yest also went back to tk and OMG~(with bern's bitchy slang,lol). tk's drills certainly sucked. like big time. COP. congrats. wrong drills sucky music. AP-fied(gen's word) juniors who falls out and put up an act. act wad? act sick. like tt can go join drama club. wth. so obvious fakers(or maybe change the A to UC). kaoz. losers. big time. taught peggy some macework. she's nt bad leh. had a gd chat with her on her NCO camp, bowen deyi yusof ishak and other dms. still remem my NCO when ppl thought me and khay were a couple. like wth. but she was like a flower and men were like bees. those guys wanted to stick to her like dont know wad. lol. attractive wad to do. lol. and yest sibei suay. after dinner at beach rd take 197 home. then halfway i just woke up at wj's house. and at tt instant the bus couldnt start and spoilt. wtf. i was like still in a freaking daze and blur. then i just gt off. went to shell to pee and continued my journey to a bus-stop on the other side for 16 and 31. then. i took 16. fell asleep. then overshot. then heng the bus will u-turn. then i just nice woke up after u-turn at vs. shiok la then get off right outside side-gate. but reached home later than expected. so sian.

spent morning in church, ate lunch at fish&co. with mom. cliff like wanted to join us la. like hello? lol. seriously. then bought the bedding for hamsters and went home ms awhile. then left to send hamsters at yina's house. was like super funny. go there then the auntie uncle hated the hamsters. NO to the face man. wtf. then i was stunned. then in the end went to her house at bedok near tj to put hamster. the grandma was like talk talk talk non-stop all hits all day. lol. then yina ask her shutup. lol. i also stunned. lol. then taught her how to take care and stuff. anyway she's gonna keep the daughter. so good la. hard to find ppl to keep.

packed my stuff already. ready to leave singapore for HK. lol ex-homeground.
visit family there la. singapore all my friends got family i dont have.
so finally i get to see them once again lor.
anyway. maybe nt blogging till i return on christmas.
till then, bon voyage.
good night.

hamster trouble.

2005-12-01T18:47:00.000+08:00

how sia. gonna leave soon and havent found any1 to babysit my little hams. and i wanna give 1 poor little thing away. it was raped. literally. by - mother, brothers. its a female. when i cleaned up the cage, it was raped again. bleeding like mad somemore. wth.

help. some1 pls tell me if u wan to keep a hamster pls. this 1 will die sooner or later. and today i had cleaned up the freaking dirty cage.

and this morning wasnt feeling well. didnt go for band. sian lor. miss band prac again. and im tired. need to study later. and wonder if im goin to chalet lol. i just wanna do some night-cycling. 1 wk later i'll be goin for night cycling again. but venture to the north-west.

anyway. nothing to update..
so long.

TIKI, OH TIKI.

2005-11-30T21:00:00.000+08:00

today went sch at 10am to do the tiki. nt easy la. the freaking plastic so uncuttable. so tired. mom sent me to sch cause i almost overslpt. then went for band. twain didnt come cause food poisoning. zhun bo. lol. tml gt sectionals again. sian. i go for nothing. lol. hanafi finally believed me la. zzzzzz.. and halfway into sectionals went for lunch cause i didnt take it. and i chionged. less than 20min i guess.

then talk to ms chew lor. lol. nice to talk to teachers. but she also banged me. lol. at least she banged me friendly. and she's like little ms vain. go home to do toenails. and her chinese name is like. zhou jing jing. lol. funny sia.

then went tk lor. listen to them before their concert tml. no good la. jialat. really. sax solo no good. tpt solo no good. everything practically no good. lol. sian half la. go there try to remem names. and was discussing with hanafi bout syarifa malak slim down, si jia mature liao sure damn hot, and others i guess. lol. so fast another yr. then ate dinner then returned.

the question pops out yet again.

so are you gonna help out nxt yr? well. i dont know. should i? i dont mind la. but then. later ppl accuse me guilty return. or my results like shit. or other commitments must halt. then die again. sian la. anyway, flying off to HK in like abt 2wks time. hope i finish my work. likely not.

tired la. really. sian half.
till then. night bloggy.

One night, in pool parlour.

2005-11-30T02:09:00.000+08:00

yeah.. woke up at 11+ with wx waking me. slpt with lights on last night i guess. and thanks to my bro who off-ed(gt such word?) them for me. cause the night before didnt slp ALOT. then siumin called me ask me whether can book squash for her. i said i goin out she ask me whether i gt mother brother. lol. DUH~ and i told her nt very nice right. then the end, gg.

went to queensway to finally get on with the class tee printing with alex and darrell and wx. sorry wx. you spend another 200bucks on class stuff. and im usually the one paying la. come to realise. i haved paid for quite a few cakes for bandmates' bdaes. summing to maybe 100+ to 200? and lm asked me whether i gt receipt and return me money. lol nvm la. i think i remem how much. but i think its alright. paying for the joy of others is a blessing. and i didnt eat their cakes. and thanks all again for mine. oh btw. the deposit costs about 200bucks. each one 17 bucks. we walked past wahab's store. or rather, sneaked or dashed past. why? cause he's the super nice shop keeper who cared to chat with us and tried to give us a good deal. but one cost 25bucks. cause the shirt better quality i guess. wonder when we'll get it.

then went ikea to get some daugs[dogs(hotdogs)]. yeah cheap la. hotdog plus drink 1.70 nia. cheap. cheap. and more cheap. and squeeze out the sauce. cool. squeeze it. then went up walk ard.. looking for future chairs for use in office and a waterbed. i gonna get a waterbed for me and my future wife. then it'll be a rocky ride. tried to play hide and seek with raimi though. he appeared behind us like ghost liddat. and futhermore. he. looks like a bus driver. LOL. seriously. honestly. no seriously(from twain). lol. he wore the exact same shirt from G2000. lol. rocks. we made fun of him all the way to raffles place waiting for jon kok. then went to clarke quay the liang court to eat.

liang court is also daimaru. or so wad i call it la. used to have the jap buffet upstairs last time. but they gg-ed. left. for dont know wad reason. used to take quite a few chawamushis each time i went. now ITE liao. went mac to eat. then. ALAN rocks. the guy who served us. made us think its like a restaurant. gave us a menu where we sat and took our orders using palm. lol. tot raimi looked like bus driver then give some special service cause the public worker. lol. lame. then liddat lor. he made many mistakes. then dulan. then finally raimi had to go counter pay and get our food. then alan took the tray with our serviettes. rocks. then we rushed over to riverside pt.

there raimi had his 9-ball competition la. so disappointing. he was like actually on par with tt so-called mat. lol. then. he was so scared cause he was present for 8-ball comp. and was wearing starsports shirt. he had quite a number of supporters too. he was scared la. then kanchiong. then was so tense so uncomfortable. made so many mistakes. missed the 9-ball 3times. the other guy missed 2. if nt the score would be 5-4 to raimi. sad la. pity. nvm la. gg.

calvin too. he won the other lamer. looks mature but actually retarded. dont know how to play. 5min warm-up go prac bank shots. lol. nt saying he's wrong but its called warm-up. nt trick shot championship. and misses simple shots and gives retarded reactions like retarded smiles and retarded stick-out-the-tongue faces. and it happened many times. the tj ppl were like laughing at him. but surprisingly he could get up to 4-2. but in the end lost to calvin. 5-4. calvin deserved it la. cool. calm. but think might nt be able to make it to nxt rd. sad to say. but will still support him la. friend. though nvr talk to him much but supporting is at least a form of friendship?lol.

went KV at 10.45+ i guess. then played with raimi. then he so relaxed and started potting in the balls. but i also didnt lao kui tt much. although wasnt my best but quite a few gd shots ard. clap clap. and planning to get cue. still thinking. told u before. even playing pool is inconsistent like playing tuba. i play well when i feel cool and smooth and slack and relaxed. then left at abt 12midnight and reached home bout 12.15. drank some soup and brough twainoet to el nath and back to orbis in MS. read a couple of blogs and im back here now.

still didnt change. luckily i didnt return. i really didnt like it. or hate it, rather. seriously. i really do. accept faults. but in future you cant leave it tt way right. so im just gonna leave it behind. although its my most treasured of all. wad to do. the end la. gg. stop liao la. shouldnt continue something you know confirm jialat. in the end also my fault. and my parents keep on mentioning it. but i havent told them wads going on now. quite irritating to hear them ask.

so........... im gonna go bathe now.
supposed to finish hmwk before flying off to HK and Jap on the 12th to 25th. lol nobody will send me. ya la. unimportant. lol. np. its alright. im liddat. or so i guess.
I NEED TO CATCH UP ON MECHANICS. or i'll die. guarantee. help.
so how. jialat.
tml gt band and tiki making. thurs gt sectionals and calvin supporting. fri gt chalet and chicky little. sat gt chalet. sun gt chalet. maybe goin to riverlife though. my ex........... church.
anyway back to the main pt.
im gonna bathe and slp liao. if nt tml cant wake up again.
nights.....

Tune tune-in to tune the untuned to be tuned.

2005-11-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

ooh. band tune-in today. coutned 31 sec4s. abt there la. last night twain came over at abt 1.30-2am to say over at my house. dled gb and play but i suck liao. then accident bought golden helmet which last only a week. lame. then i deleted it today. played ps2 till 4am. went back to room. slp at abt 5+am. woke at abt 8.40am with twain complaining tt my alarm sounds like bomb. said osama gonna bomb me. lame sia. lol.

went sch at 9am for dont know wad. seriously. 9am so early. i go there slack only. wait sec4s come in. worst still. no jr.s came. except for hanafi bin shafie. lol. wasted a morning. then went eat lunch at macs..... lotsa ppl. then combined lor. dont know why lin sheng nvr come. should come la. but nvm. in the end also nvr come. so tired during prac. and ms chew gave me a slip. hanafi then went over my house slack and listen to music. lol. he like scrolling thru my library.

then went airport to send gen off. wah lao. wait for 4 sets of buses. in the end i went back up change and bathe and take charger for twain. lol then waited another 4 sets of buses before 36 came. then eat popeye. shit sia no more syrup for biscuit. then bo liao walk ard with them till her family came. then gd bye and have a nice trip. lol her dad said something realy outta the blue man. unbelievable.

have to do hmwk man.
tml goin queensway and then riverside pt.
cya then.
today was much better.
but i wanna be even better.

STONE.

2005-11-27T00:23:00.000+08:00

stone like a rock. has been doing tt regularly. supposed to go gym la. but still havent applied for gym downstairs. nowadays wake up at 1+ 2.. habit la. waste my life away. watch chan 62 for a long time.. nice movies..

nothing to update today.
lifeless.
shortest update ever.

Better.

2005-11-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

Think today was much better. cause last night the post was a source of venting anger(think it sounds funny). and today had band. crap lo. hanafi they all supposed to come. left Cliff.

and there it goes.. playing the upper staff register all the time. zz. go play eupho. bahz. sekali band tune-in must play. then lao kui. kev and tz ask me go play for BQ tml. but i CMI la. though i promised i'll go nxt time. i'll stick to my principle. practise before you go and perform. i haven't even prac'ed so i can go for prac with them and try out pieces. ya lor. go there half the time zuobo. still remem last time i suggested play flight of tuba bee. i was serious then. but now no. stop la. slowly get back up again. i just wanna get that sense of achievement i gt last yr, the glory and honour. can just remem every1 cheering on TK.

'The Best Drum Major Award goes to.. Ngai Yi Qian of Deyi Secondary School!'
disappointed la.. thought i was on par. then alumni bluff him say he drop i sure win. zz. thought could grab tt double award but haiz. sian halved.

'...and the Best Display Band of the Year Award goes to......... Tanjong Katong Secondary School!'
then this i thought was quite expected.. although heard deyi was strongest this yr. admit lor. they were fantastic. but too bad. we were better than fantastic with our er.....

Lord of the Rings for march-in.
Pirates of the Carrbiean.
Carmina Burana for splendid opening.
The 8-beat silence for my mace in the air for me to catch.
Olympic Spirit at the Olympic Circles. with our colourful pom-poms.
Fate of the gods at the Puma.
J-pop on the way to our kaleidoscopes(Ks).
Can't Take My Eyes Off You for our start of the Ks.
Jap Graf. 3 to our K3.
then our dearest perc. for drum solo for instru. twirling.
then Gulliver's Travels to the Shark.
Pirates of the Carribean at the Shark again with out blue and black fans.
Ross Roy on our way to the Castle.
Then, a salute at the Castle with music of Great Gate of Kiev(with my highest throw at the SYF).
Lastly, Fen Yong Qian Jing to our fiery Phoenix.
Fiery fans at the Phoenix brought out our fiery burning passion. With music from Feng Yang Hua Gu. The suonas and cheena drum.
Then close with Lord of the Dance.
And finally bazookas.
The End.

Did i miss out anything? dont noe. i havent gotten the freaking SYF cd. wth more than a yr.

today's tiring with soccer.
then to PS.
then 16 back home with twain.

i shall get up be on my way.
Cya.

my C is zero.

2005-11-24T18:30:00.000+08:00

ages. been ages. finally decided to update. sorry if anyone wanna read my blog for the past whole time.

several happenings in my life. or rather, i cant take the impact. like seriously.

i will just explain wad's MapleStory or the popoular MS. its actually a virtual game in a virtual world. u just control a cute little character, go around chopping cute little snails at first and gradually come to stronger creatures. then u lvl up. ya of course you do. hello. immersing yourself in such a 'beautiful' virtual game may be a source of comfort. however, its nt a long term solution. heals your pain for sometime though.. lets you imagine that you at least are not the worst. imagine only. think about it only. not true in your real life. so, it means that it lets you be someone you arent in the game. cool huh. ppl like me need such a game. depend on such a game to live. if nt i'll just die. die on the spot. let you see. maybe you can see me in the news - Boy, 17 dies when he jumps from condo. me lor. aku.

just quit YO. returned the gig bag this afternoon. sad to see it part. dont want it to part. i'll nvr get to go there again. i thought i used to be on my way to there chair in the music studio. but guess wad. i didnt make it. i cant. CMI. wads wrong? you may ask. i wanna die. living everyday is a torture. seriously. nobody understands how i feel. seriously, nobody. i'm just gonna let down my monette and my conn5j sitting in my room. i had my dreams. yeah. define dream then. its imaginary. i once thought i had the ability to fulfill it. the harder i tried, the worse it became. till i decided to stop and rest. when i tried again ITE. its the end. really. humiliation on the name t.chow on wed was ulti-mate. but i understand. expected. seriously. if i had known i would be like that on this day, why would i have bothered to sacrifice so much here? appeal for TJ wouldnt have had happened. i might be in another JC, or rather poly. i came TJ with my intention of goin further. wad happened was, reverse effect. i died. why would i bother to join TJ, moreover, band. maybe its arrogance and ego. possibly.

once i was so IN, now im so out. outta place. out of the world, out of the scene. im nowhere. no place. things in my heart are dying to explode out. real. come on, i dont know where to start. u can find a string in my heart. millions of knots though. and the ends of the knot are stuffed back into the knots. so how. no ends. where to start? i'm like so outta touch of the music scene. philyouth is filled with new ppl. bowen is rising i heard. my friend is goin over to YO to replace me. life rocks. like seriously. you'll nvr know when things go 180 degrees backward for you. this is the lowest point in my entire life. literally. nvr before in my whole life i have felt this way. i have lost my life. lost my world. band has just died in me. however many REVIVE spells i try to cast, i can only see its fingers twitching.. it didnt rise. there's still a strong desire in me. i know i am a burden to many, wherever i am. thats why i dont enjoy it. maybe ppl dont think so, but i'm definitely nt a selfish bastard who'll happily be the prick on a rose. i dont wanna be lousy. im nt a person who'll do something which i suck at. hello, why should i. the more i do, the bigger the letter L of the word LOSER is on me. i have no life now.

studies? sucks, sucks, and sucks. t.chow is a freaking idiot. stupid. dumbell. wadeva. i gt a CEEE. Cock, EEE-diot, and 2 more Es i dont know wad to write. wordless. i thought i'll do well in chem and it apparently sucked. physics too. maths i tot i failed i gt C. wtf. f.maths i didnt expect an E. D at least. just because of carelessness and leaving out mechanics. fk it. GP D7. qualified to appeal. and it didnt work. the whole world was raising my hopes and bang. i died. 'i'm sorry you have to drop a subject.' ITE again. life's cruel. i finally understand why. no chance. now i'm left with 3. die liao. repetition of my sec3 life. songbo.

broke up with pam. died again. my decision though. say i'm stupid, hurry. i know. refer to above for reason. no pt. la. really. see me as a roadsweeper in the future.

im good at nothing. as you can see, i have no strengths in anything. really. i know i have 1. or so i think. but i have completely no chance to exercise it. because i was said to be a person who when facing another situation will lose track of main goal. ok. do i? i dont think so. i dont care anymore la k. seriously. this past 2months or so has made me fall into a bottomless pit. how am i gonna crawl out? kevin told me its psychology. i dont think so. if it was so easy, i would i have done it. the problem is that its not only 1 problem, but like a machine gun. fire continuously. i admit. i lose. i surrender. the white flag is up. i nt good enough la. just let me live a quiet life.

was this update useful? was it cool? was it interesting?
i dont know. i only know that i am a changed person.
from up there to down there. i think i have a different character now.
lies and deceit. facade. only things are hidden where nobody will find, or ever try to find.
try to pry open a mouth of doom.
then you'll find a bottomless pit. jump in, and find me.
if u can. maybe im miles below when you just jumped.
try to dive faster than me. rescue me.
blog. blog blog.
till then.
tata.
cya.

Exam lai liao.

2005-09-29T21:08:00.000+08:00

ok this is screwed. think this update is strange. the tab on top is like 1.5 times my screen size. wierdo. haha first time im saying that. i repeat myself again. this must and shall be a short entry. or so i hope.

yeah.. so? last time i update was on mon. i just remem that we shouldnt slander others on the net. did I? cause nowadays dont know wad happen to students. crazy. go sch forum and bang teacher. lol. lame sia. liddat also can. nvr get caught i laugh. getting out of hand the young are.. haha maybe me too. have to change soon. serious mode is as from Jan. Jan. Jan. 2006. start of last yr in TJC. A lvls. argh. siao liao. promos is like in 4 days. siao kia. i havent completed my syllabus. omg la.

so, tues.. went over pam's house to study.. helped her change the babies' homes.. guess she's somewad pissed by i-do-not-know wad.. i think. she wanted to kill the male hamster. me too. trouble king. sex-lover. yeah.. the one at my house is biting me. and ppl may think im mean but i do beat the hamsters. dont care la. u take care of your future children also must use caning and stuff to discipline children right. if nt ar.. they become ills of the society. oh ya. i received my chinese essay. (48-2)/70. steady bo. 1st time in history. lol. he said great improvement ok. new hopes in dropping chinese. then studied abit at her house then fell asleep then left.. slp at 3am.

wed? sian day. woke up late. reach sch late. went for briefing for college clean-up with koange. ya lame la.. clean canteen. worse. have to see mrs.lee my 1st 3 months econs teacher. suan kia. nothing much this day.. went home with pam in cab.. rush home to finish ionic equilibrium. song bo. slp at 2.30am.

today? also damn sian. wake up like 7.25am. steady. new record for wake-up-late competition. haha. sian. heng my mama send me to sch like yest. then go sch distribute duties for clean-up. ponned all lectures of the day. find it useless. promo lai liao still teach new things? use your brain use your brain use your brain! aper ini~ bodoh sial. so went to study in library tried to do second order differential. bloody difficult. went out halfway to pei pam eat lunch. then fmaths make up was terrible. i was like stunned. dont know how to do la. mr.ng the pro. sit first row can feel his aura. attendance worst in history. however, o2 is still the best. best class, wad to do. yeah after tt went library slp 10min then do abit of trigo for pam. and borrowed 2 bks. 1 is on mechanics another on maths. crazy chow. then just reached home lor chiong EOM. think mine i like shit though. lol. bo bian. get it over and done with. must finish alkenes today. maths can do another day i guess.. oh ya saw WX's blog just now. lol. think its abt 1000words too. ^5 man.

yup. thats it. hope this is short enough.
yes i hope.
think not. study now.
mug.
bye blog.......................

Today Kenna Bang.

2005-09-26T20:29:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna say this again. Its been a long time since a last posted. wad to do. busy. but i dont know wad the hell i've been doing for the past weekend. go my house downstairs the ThaiPan restaurant to eat and study with a new study group. but..................... i think i die liao la. wasting my time. wasting my life away. and fri my new sofa came. damn big. damn wide damn comfy la. dont mind slping there every night. also, my hamsters have returned. the mother and the 4babies. still looks like piglets though. cleaned the whole cage in 1hr yest. did it without touching the babies. or i did abit. nt supposed to cause they say mother smell the baby gt human smell then eat. liddat lor. dont know which heartless mom or dad will eat children. the father damn horny. see the auntie wanna go have sex with her liao. anyway, i've been receiving comments that my 1000 word essay on a week is damn long. like duh, 1000words wad. i'll try to keep it short, for now at least. lets see.. i 10days nvr blog. meaning by ratio and proportion,

1000 x 10/7 = approx. 1428 words.

haha bet no-one would be such an idiot sitting down to read a nobody's blog. lol. lets see..

i ponned YO though lian wei ask me go. really dont wanna. already wanna quit liao leh. but he ask me end at the end of the term. quite sian la. see the same face over and over. but thats nt my main reason though. anyway ChowThief is lvl.27 liao.. and another char in Bootes called ChowSniper is lvl.12. nt bad. but thats partly wad i did during the weekend.

let's talk abt today. kenna bang. bang bang who died. CYRENE TAN banged me. who knows why. MRS CHUA banged me. heng lim poh suan didnt. if nt i score hat-trick. darrell la. throw eraser at me. then i gt so irritated i jsut picked 1 small piece and throw at him. next, i gt banged. wah kao. she blind or wad? wah lao. i was listening attentively la pls. she hates me. i can feel and sense it. then i shout at her then she diam. thats phy and came chem in 221. air-con room which i'll probably may be in nxt yr. provided i get promoted la. then hafiz sit behind me disturb me. draw on my neck. throw sweet wrapper at me. wah kao. ungrateful la give him sweet he dont throw. zZzZz. then kick my chair. then i so pissed i just shove the table back. then kenna bang. wah kao. today mayday suayday. then pissed lor.

and GP lim poh suan say nxt mon must return GP bulletin which i happily lost abt 2 or 3wks ago. song bo. happy new yr.

1wk later is my promos.
mon - GP & Chinese
tues - break
wed - break
thurs - C Math & F Math/Bio
fri - Chem
mon - Phy
tues - Econs

ya and i have to hand in my GP bulletin on the day of exam. crap right. later she fail me i really happy. with sarcasm of course if anybody doesnt detect it. this fri must hand in EOM liao. song bo. time flew. time flies. time flied.

7days... [Sounds like the Ring isnt it? <------ lame. i know it. (-.-)" ]
yeah.. study study study.
hope to see this blog again sometimes soon.
sorry to those who had been anticipating to read my blog.
bye.=)

Tuba ABRSM Grade 5 Exam

2005-09-16T21:07:00.000+08:00

wah. its been years since i last blogged. yeah.. i was really damn bloody busy the past.. long time. haha ok.. just counted. 8 days. 8days every week.. (no link) i shall try to recall my past.

Friday
I went to sch to prac with yihern. woke up at 9.15? reach sch at 9.45, started prac only at abt 10am. then yeah.. praced lor.. nt bad la.. 2nd prac with him. its alright. saw clara earlier who was slacking in yihern's studio watching russell peters. i nvr knew that he had his own recording or sound studio. wtf. he has 10k to spend and he has already spent 7k. wtf right. and inside equipments are so high-tech. im so impressed by those gadgets. then after me was clara.. she went on to prac her dip. pieces.. while i watched bit and pieces of russell peters. haha bloody racist asshole. and they hid it so inside the comp. that no one will ever find it. let me see.. my documents, my pictures, sample pictures. there it is. the video of mr.peters. he sounds ang mor-ish but is actually an indian. or so i think. oh ya i also installed maplestory inside.. so cool la. hid it inside the same seceret compartment. so maybe i free can go there to play. haha.. then yihern one moment thought i was backstabbing him while talking to clara. but actually its just that i said "i dont know whether can install and play, you go ask yihern." then he ask me i say nothing its just maple, but he didnt believe, so he called me after his prac with clara and ask wad was i saying. lol. i went home then went out again to study with pam at the airport.. thats all i remem.. did damn little i know.. supposed to finish ionic equilibrium but i barely touched a few pages. too distracted by her beauty.=) then tt bloody airport guy chase us away. wtf. lameass. not say some1 wanna sit there. kns. then went parkway to eat pasta. wanna go delifrance actualyl but they change so much until i dont know wad to eat. then we left. lol.. then sent her home.

sent her home liao.. sat at her house downstairs.. chatted damn long.. really.. damn long.. 1st time.. face-to-face.. then pour out everything lor. then she was supposed to go back up at 9pm to watch some china show but didnt. in the end, we went up at abt 10+ then i saw the baby hamsters. oh ya.. the mother hamster gave birth. makes pam a grandma and me a grandpa. lol.
then left at abt 11+ la.. supposed to prac but didnt.. couldnt bear to leave those babies. they are damn bloody cute. one stupidly jumped to the floor and couldnt get up. thats all i remem..

Saturday
woke up at abt 10+? went to maple. no mood to study la.. lost momentum cause of wed. then liddat la. went over to leonard's house to lesson. ya.. think i played so much better than the past. that's cause i've been practising wad.. except i didnt learn my scales well.. that's saddening. yeah.. then went over to the esplanade to borrow my "Legend" score by Philip Catelinet for my Grade 5. stupid la.. have to sign up for membership again.. 21bucks leh. nt say i damn rich la. then went back down to look for my mama. the hollywood shop is damn cool. nxt time wanna buy something for pam there. then joined my mama at the cafe. its like super nice. really. seriously. one of the waitresses look like malorie from temasek now SAJC. vivian should know her.. haha i mean must know her. afterall they from the same section la. then ordered cookies and cream shake or something. its damn nice. literally gt cookies and cream. and ordered some salmon pie. its nice. really. but damn ex. but i promised to bring pam there. yeah.. refuese to tell her where though.

Sunday
mm.. didnt go for pw. cause no pw. slacked at home almost whole day. wanna do my gp. but wtf. i lost my bloody GP BULLETIN. WTF. damn shithead la me. how on earth i lose it. i cant even remem. the last time i saw it was the monday in the last week last term. sian half. was damn nervous. cause tt bitch is gonna screw me upside down. seriously. she's a big bitch. she hates me. wads new. heng she dont care. but she'll know sooner or later.

Monday
quite some schling. cant wake up la.. nt used to it. i wish i nvr had to study. bet every student in the world would say that. which is practically impossible la. unless we are in a 3-world country. S'pore is actually a 3rd world country. but isnt cause of the low GDP caused by small population. that's why S'pore governement is smart. stoned through ALL tutorials cause i nvr did any1 except Mr.Ng's area and vol. quite difficult. after sch then sent pam home and went home prac for abt 3hrs.. long tones and my pieces.. and flexibility exercise..

Tuesday
sian day again lor. PE went to play tennis. like sai. serve the ball out of court. lol. lame sia. then jerky came over to play with us. wth la. then i sian1/2. anyway tk went to do make-up PE. with *ahem*. i was supposed to go MS to do my aural. but ms chew wasnt around. pam was trying to finish her last page of econs so waited. then in the end ended up at her house auralling. lol sounds like oralling. which is totally wrong. sang like shit in front of her family members. and i forgot to greet her ah ma la. first time in history. feel damn bad also. wads new.. planned to prac lots this day. but i didnt. only touched a few scales. die la. then dont know wad went wrong with me. keep on playing like sai. spend 1hr on Ab minor arpeggio. cause i cant articulate properly and my lips dont work properly.

Wednesday
had lunch alone then with pam joining me. so funny that every1 see me ask me why i eating alone. lol. skipped most of civics to have aural lesson with ms chew while pam was trying to study her econs but i think distracted by me=P. haha my STM is damn bad. my memory is bad. just cant remem the melody. lame sia me. then i had my GP compre with the rest of the ppl in LT1. Hafiz sat beside me and farted a million times before he finally admitted. i knew it long ago. just nt sure. then Darrell la. make so much noise together with Arjun then distract me. i ended up finishing the last in my class. ppl doing AQ i still stuck in summary. nt born to do GP la. obviously. lol. then left early.. sorry had to leave pam to go hom herself. sian la.. sorry. went home to prac.. nt alot cause i should rest more. did usual stuff plus learnt G# minor scale i think.

Thursday
praced after sch in band room cause no MEP teachers around to open rooms. then left for CCAB to find leonard. upon arrival saw leonard with the security guard. so on time. then he ask us to warm up and so we did. then we went thru the piece which i didnt play well. so different from sat la. wth. bet he damn disappointed. then yi hern did very well as an accompanist. yeah.. he's a good pianist. very good. please to have him, or rather, honoured. diploma leh. then did blazevich. like sai. i cant breathe relaxingly. dont know why. jialat lor. then he tested me a scale. then i siao liao cause wrong. then yeah.. quite demoralised.. then i think i know yihern not saying anything.. and he asked wad's leonard's name again. leonard. then he said he knew it. for a moment, i thought he knew who he was. but as a matter of fact, he just said he had a "Leonard" face. meaning someone who looks like he has a name leonard. strange theory but true cause i met with such things before. went to office to look for mrs.wong ho chong. but then, met m.siao. chatted quite a while.. its been quite sometime since i last talked that much to him. yeah.. my ex-bandmaster. i cant believe jinhao looks down on him. quite pissed with him actually. as if jin hao is some big shot that he doesnt have to go attend NCO camp. come on la. its nt like they have a shit conductor. nvm. and mrs.wong passed me her "Advice on Assessment" letter.

"At the recent SNYO assessment held on 20th Aug 05, you have been awarded with a Grade D/Poor. This is considered a weak grade. You are adviced to be better prepared for your next coming assessment or you may have to leave the SNYO."

yeah, warning letter. i expected it. nt an E though. heng lor. after promos i shall prac.. i will. hope i'll be better and just fix my damn bloody sound, embrochure and articulation. after this i definitely have no problem. guarantee 100%. then i ponned YO lor.. she let me wad. so happy. went home read through the scale book then too lazy to prac liao. dont wanna further tire my lips. yeah yeah.. then went to slp early. didnt call Pam. sorry.

Friday (today)
today tried to be as slack as possible. mass PE was lame la.. do nothing. he just talked on the PE electives which i dont know wad to go for. twain wanna go for learning head and handstand. wont mind though. wanna go scuba but scared kenna eaten up by the great white shark. scary. or paralyzed by the jellyfishy. like pokemon like tt. PE ended early. then eat early breakfast. sch's fish set is better than the other set. of course. then ponned f.maths lecture on Polar Coordinates supposedly with TK but he pangsehed me. then i tried slping in band room. but cant have a happy slp cause go dream then go reality again. if u get wad i mean. then went back to lessons and had PW. chose to go kia chai's house again. arjun whole life the house N.A or unuseable. whole life. then she remarked my EOM which anyhow to last night. so dont care lor.. better at least. then told the chi teacher i leaving for exam. he asked me to go get pink form. i did. then F.tong catch me and scold me for being in my pe shirt when i forgot to change. before scolding he was flirting with a teacher la. seriously. talking bout whether she's a GP teacher or something. then gt the pink form. then filled in and cant find my CT. so forget it. yihern came out late at 12.45 and met him at 1+. yeah. damn long. then my CT called. i didnt bother to pick up his call. dont like him anyway. he showed me quite a couple of magic tricks. including ones online and this guy from ACJC called Huron with his "Fire in the Hole" and "Hotspot". i really dont know how they do. and magic is evil.

went to prac awhile but didnt boost my confidence tt much. then slack again. Pam looked for me and passed me a usual good luck card. she first time spell my name as Terance. haha nvm la. its alright. as long as its from her i love it. =) haha hope she's nt reading =P. then she got angry cause i went to recital studio to prac 1st. i also dont know why. wads wrong with goin to prac 1st? nt say i go off to Gramercy liao right. after she left prac awhile more. then went to find yihern. he was singing TONGHUA with a mic. recorded himself and deleted. i think its quite cool so tried it out too. lol. my singing sucks. hope pam doesnt know i sang too=X. then recorded 2 times. went to have lunch-tea then twain came over to listen to my singing. then went back to practice.. twain played with me. i played like shit. did some aural stuff and yihern thinks im alright. off to Gramercy.

hong ghee called me halfway complain abt his junior sign contract with tkband. wth? i dont even know wth he talking abt. told him busy call him back later.

reach there i was damn nervous. heng gt yihern calm me down. haha went with him around the shop to look at things. then he keep on talking to the indian man and chinese woman invigilators.
lol friendly man he. then the indian invigilator gave me nicer chair. thanks. yeah then waited for quite sometime before entering. damn nervous. took my own sweet time to get ready and tune. haah yihern hint to me damn obvious as his fingers point everywhere. lol. then started off with Tuba Suite VI- Marzuka, Legend. then yihern left. then i carried on with aural. the sight singing was perfect. he ask me the period i answer correct but the reason i dont know. cause nvr learn. but nvr mind la. then the clapping was abit wrong cause cant remem. the memory sing was alright too. then scales ar. all muffled. lol. die la. the Bb chromatic scale i went 2 octaves when its supposed to be a 12th. then Ab minor added a few more notes when coming down. F minor ask him for permission to replay which he said ok. and thats it. dominant seventh anyhow play. sian lor. forgot. then sight reading was damn easy. my lips didnt work though. but ppl say rhythm more important which i gt all correct. yeah then ok lor. thanks.

sent yihern to tj to zap! to help his friend collect notes. then he went for his CellGroup meeting. met twain and gen on the way. yeah. ttz abt it. went downstairs for dinner. lol. xtra info.

have to thank lots of ppl all these while. Dear Pam for helping with my aural, YiHern for being such a wonderful accompanist, TK for listening to my crap during lectures telling him abt my practice goes and telling me tt i might be overpractising, twain and gen for giving me abit of morale and confidence. lookit and luther for "good luck"-ing to me. yeah. thanks ppl. oh ya still gt my mama who tolerated my shit and fetch me here and there and my teacher, leonard. haha my mama wanna buy abalone nuts for leonard and yihern for their help. thanks.

thats abt it. think this entry is damn bloody long. shall stop.
tonight gt "The Phone" korean horror show.
watched long ago with m.siao, zeyu and deyna. long time ago.
miss tkband times.
realise every week my classmates will always talk abt me being dm in tk.
long history.
supposed to go back tk to help outdoor. see first la.
wanna relive the moment of half victory.
nxt time ba. realised this entry took me abt 1hr 20mins. lol

till then,
bye blog.=)

Rain of Criticisms.

2005-09-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

She called me in the afternoon at abt 1pm+. haiz. i really dont know wad to do la. so many things to do. so little time. i want to keep everything in place. wonder why did i chose to come tj. but on the other hand, if i didnt come tj i wouldn't have known her. true. i'm so troubled. all i want to do now is just be give a space and time to finish wadever i have to before i get back in there. am i wrong? she isnt my toy. she isnt an object. she is my gf. come on.. im so stuck up and have many things to do. oh well. help! but nobody hears me. she doesnt wanna end it. me neither.

as i've said.. slpt very late.. or early. 5am? omg. supposed to study today but didnt. die la. supposed to do ionic equilibrium and projectiles. didnt touch any. was supposed to do ionic yesterday but couldnt concentrate. reach home cry cry. sian. and last night mapled till abit the early. wee hours of the morning. lvled up to 20.. thats nt bad i guess.

then went for YO. jinhao is goin to main. thats nice. i knew he'd go up sooner or later. and im left in the ensemble.. with lian wei who's gone missing and huihong who always nvr come. in other words.. im alone. played 2 christmas pieces today.. and han solo attack me. using his ferocious and spear-like words and concept of "air pressure" and "muscles" and "body usage". every thurs he also like that. then he'll ask me whether is it i long time nvr play. i always wanna say i did but if i did means that i'm damn lousy.

the fact is that i chose to change my embrochure. i also know its a damn bloody big change. from beginning which always tried to go back to old ways.. to trying too hard. its between them. its really not easy. sometimes i really wonder whether i was right to change. and i wonder if i can every go back to my past. when i could play without worries. just play and think that im good. and thats how i got into YO. i thought i was good and i applied. and there i am now suffering i guess. every thurs i scared to go. wonder whether i'll get another shot. come on.. it sucks. would any1 like to try and sit in my place? try my shoe? stand in my position?

everytime i go for any group practice i'll feel stressed and sian. see twain who is eupho pro. really pei fu. he's talented like mad. i dont know wad to say. bet the whole world thinks t.chow plays like crap now. or maybe always been. yeah.. sometimes i would just think of my past when some of my juniors would just look up at me and say, "you're good." thats like the past. where TKBand is filled with nothing but marching. i have not known wad a good band should sound like. not known wad a good tuba sound is like. nvr had an actual teacher like till sec3 syf. lai jin xing. yeah man. haiz...... wondered why i joined band. wonder why i nvr score well and go dunman high. or maybe why i didnt join band in pri sch. why? so many wonders. wad a wonderful world.

just reached home actually. ate some jap food and takopachi for dinner in the car. tml gonna go sch and prac with yi hern before his with clara. 8days to exam. cleaned the cage. the hammy reminds me of her. puffy cheeks. the neoprint. the one which gen said we looked a million years older. haiz.

anyway.. have to try to study. tata.
see you blog.
hope i improve?
see you blog.

Cry. Die.

2005-09-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

I started a topic at about 9+ and ended it at abt 11.30+ with a feeling of deep confusion.
I think i'll regret it all my life.
I need help. Save me. Help me. Lord, heal me.
Foolish, yes it is.. i dont know how. why. why? why am i such a foolish ass.
I do love her. I did, I do and I will still do.
Watching her cry before me like nvr before. First time it hurt me like nobody's business.
We moved from Popeye's, MRT, Walk to Simsville, Her house downstairs, 15th floor and 4th.
My heart yearned and yearned but i didnt know wad to do.
I watched her cry, and cry and cry and cry. It was such a difficult momement.
I really wanted to say yes. But i couldnt cause i didnt want to make another empty promise.
Ouch. Save me from the sea of sorrow. Remorse and regret.
Bet the whole world is gonna say t.chow sucks to the core of all cores.

I bid her goodbye as she tried to put up another usual look front to show her mom.
I knew deep inside her it was different. She felt lonely. I want to rescue her out from there.
I dont know her when i cant even take care of myself. Our babies.
I took the lift down her house. Stood down there below.
Hoped to catch a maybe last glimpse of her. Ouch. It hurts.
----------------------------just went to the balcony------------------------------------
it does. 2 wantons made.
i waited for abt 5-10mins. and i didnt see her. think she went back to her room straight.
my turn. as i retreated from her home, i started to break out.
ouch. really. pain. tia. tong.
i sat at the bench awhile, cried for abt 5mins. realised i was cashless, may miss bus.
so i tried to stop and headed to bus-stop.
took the bus and teared awhile.
got off and wanted to go downstairs to sit. but my mom ask me go up.
then here i am. i'm at a loss of wad to do. help.

sorry. and i know you've been hearing it alot of times.
i'm a bastard. bastard king.
made promises which i sometimes forget.
i promise you now that i'll never forget the 6months 1 week 5days.
i wont break it. this i promise the promise.
as i sift through my past memories, it came clear to me how important she was.
number 1 woman.
serious.

happy memories, sad memories. how she puff her cheeks at me.
how she hmphed me.
how she *deh*ed at me.
how she tickled me.
how we fed one another.
how we got over HER.
how we got through silences.
how we got over my neoprint-phobia.
how we got over my self-centred-ness.
how she made me happy many times.
how we decided to surprise one another.
how we thought of celebrating with one another.
how we decided to go MARCHE.
how we decided to go DING TAI FENG.
how we decided to go DIM SUM at bedok.
how we decided to go CAFE CARTEL.
how we decided to go SAKAE SUSHI.
i realised there's one place left. a proper chinese restaurant of dim sum.
i failed to fulfil it.
omg.
i'm sorry again.

how many times can i sorry you?
i'm sorry.
guess i wont be able to slp tonight. same for her i guess.
cry to slp.
miss her very much.
wish i could turn back time.
shit.

A million years..

2005-09-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

Its been a million years since i last saw http:/www.blogger.com. yeah.. a long time. and a million things happened this whole time... long long ago.. in the southern eastern part of Singapore..

I dropped my phone into soup while msging Darrell. this is probably the most crap thing and most stupid and most foolish thing some1 must have heard his or her whole life. literally la. still remem.. nimble fingers didn't hold my phone properly.. then dropped into the soup. the phone sank into the soup.. from the surface to the bottom.. and the outside LCD screen was still on.. i remember. then i took it out, pressed the buttons - it still worked! then i hurriedly went to the toilet to wipe it clean. unbelievably i tried the buttons again. but this time it didnt work and the whole system hung. omg. then i off the phone. everything was off except for the lighted keypad. i took out the battery and tried to put it back. and the flash on-ed as well. so in conclusion - my samsung e330c has spoilt.

the next day supposed to have YO. but rachel and I didnt wanna go.. so we p o n e d. shh. anyway i wasnt really that enthu about goin so didnt go. she jio me nt to go 1 ok. i remem running around to sch to find rachel's no. cause i lost it. samsung saves no. inside the phone. was inside MS slacking around with ms.chew and lookit. then cant remem go where liao. just remem i went to PS to change my phone to er.. nokia 3120. some cheap phone la. signed up for a new plan to get a free samsung phone worth $300. and guess wad. my new no. differs from my old by 1 no. my new is 9***4***. thats the diff. cool eh.

then mm.. went to watch innocent steps super duper nice. the dancing was slick and solid and zai and smooth and dont know wad more words to use to describe. fantastic supreme. but some bastards due to jealousy went to whack the teacher's leg. asshole. then the chio gf have to dance with the king of bastard. but she danced so well cause of that teacher aka lover aka husband. anyway, no more sneak peaks and previews. go watch la ok. guranteee is nice. unless you no taste. then after the movie went to try to grab the pooh in the machine but didnt have any luck no skill. spent about $15 there la.. and played the drum machine for the 1st time. lame sia.. i play easy all the beats in centre. normal then mix. but i got an average of B.. not bad la hor.

took chem spa and dont know how anyhow do. was very complicated to do la. then after the spa darrell came out wanna die keep on saying dont know how to do. and i thought i was correct when the whole class said the R for the second one was 7+. die lor.. level 7? level 6? dont know la.. dont know dont care. haiz. chem and phy still lagging by a million years. liddat.

also, during this period i got the dota cd from darrell. tried to play with him over on battlenet but without success. tried to connect for 2hrs but still fail. loser sia. the nxt day then know that firewall cant create cause ppl cant join game. anyway, i'm addicted.. and i'm improving, and i'm OWNING.........

wed ponned sch to go back TK. met the NPCC gang at 8am in the morning and saw Avi. looks the same still. then took 33 to TK reach there like 8+9. then went to watch the performance and concert. which wasnt really that nice la. its more like a competition like 30s to fame that kind of shit. lame sia. athika sang ok. didnt recognise that it was her. lol. then raimi kp la.. say the whole sch turn around to see me 'band major'. lame sia. anyway its 'drum major'. thats the past la.. leave that behind. then talk to tan kee hoe. still the same.. saw dheeraj. his hair like rocker liao la.. went overseas to study. wonder whether he gt bullied anot. and he's taking BIO. omg how he take bio when he didnt even study that for O's? funny la. then talked to mrs.lee.. she talked to me quite long.. sat in her office.. then suddenly mention abt me goin over to TCHS. wah kao. news spread abit fast. and aiya forget it dont wanna talk about it. and i stupidly picked up my CT's call and his PMS tone.
'Hello is this Terence?'
'Yes?'
'mr.lim here. where are you now?'
'i am in TKSS to visit my teachers.'
'Why are you not in sch today?'
'i am in tk.'
'do you know that it is an official school day and you are supposed to be in school?'
'yes.'
'do you know wad is being absent from sch without permission in english?'
'no.'
'it is truancy. i want a letter of explanation from you on fri. bye.'
and so i went to ask my mom to sign the letter last night and she gave me a 45min lecture cum scolding. sian1/2. in the end she sign la.

cant remem so many things which happened. today? had a super boring day. pe was crap. listen to 'this old man' talk for 1 whole period. more than that. er.. 55mins? in the end eat break then late for lecture then decided to pon. had some group evaluation again. i saw my name bottom written by some1. but nvm its alright. i wrote the person's name there too. sorry but i wish everythign was equal. derrick loaded dota during pw. omg la. didnt realise could work. wanted to play after chinese but every1 pang sei. sian diao. then went with pam to do make up pe. 1000 skips. but we did 500 la. wanna die liao. should have ran 6 rounds instead. left sch at around 3.30pm.. then went bugis to buy bag. looked around damn long then finally decided to buy at the first shop. bargained with the uncle from 25 to 20, pam's from 22 to 17. tried hard la.. but its also not good to take too much advantage. afterall, ppl's out to make a living. why make it hard for others? the bag's nice la.. not bad. like it.

anyway think this update abit the long ar. maybe longer than my 1st!
haha perhaps, perhaps, pheraps.
so, time now is to call pam. tml no sch. must mug. and prac.
2wks later is my exam. and i'm still unprepared. alamak.
wanna die la.. why i so stupid went to sign up in the 1st place. so stressed cause of everything.
haiz. still wanna get 2As for promos. namely, C Maths and F Maths. the chances are low but not impossible.
so, gtg....
till then blog.. nights..

LAG.

2005-08-23T20:53:00.000+08:00

ARGH. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

not lagging in internet connection though. lagging in school work. chem die liao.. phy die liao.. these 2 both lag by 2 chaps. 2.2=4. plus mechanics halfway done tutorial 3 and 4.. while reduction formula lag by a few questions. its nt little - its damn alot. it takes only 1 question to kill you.

this morning Pam ran her 2.4km. tried to find her after class.. but couldnt spot her on the track. this means that she's too fast. fast runner.. her 2.4 timing was 14.15 i think.. uncertainty there la. that's like my last time running mark. for guys you fail till cham cham. then had oily chicken cutlet with gen and caryn during break. then she gt confused over YO and PhilYouth and stuff. sian right. ponned phy lecture to study abit in band room.. later for mrs.lim's lesson. then TK missed out the part on bringing Gen's notes from bandroom. TK was already putting down his phone when TZ asked him to bring it. as a result, gen became angry with him and dont know why me too. lol. im mr.innoncent. then i was trying to suan her throughout the lecture then she gt so irritated with my words and TK's laughter that she decided to shout for twain. not literally.. she wrote "TWAINNN!". its a hate letter she wrote for twain to inform him that we "BULLY" her. then she wants to steal our notes dont know for wad. change topic la. no link.

GP lesson was damn sian. forgot Jon Ng ask his friend buy chicken with egg burger for me. then they squished it and wrote things on the plastic bag (-.-)" forced myself to eat that down.. then did compre halfway go lao sai. so watery. then anyhow chiong through AQ. gt a feeling i'll fail. song bo.. fail GP all the way. sounds like my combined humans. result from sec3 to sec4. haha.
mr. Ng's lesson was crazy. he do so fast till i buay tahan. he go through question like the speed of my copying. then after lesson he revealed that he took maths in Uni.. then hao lian he top in class.. his class gt 3 national bballers.. arts subj all a1.. madness. clever fella.

ate lunch with Pam again.. felt that she didnt wanna talk to me or something. dont know leh maybe i think too much. ate fishball noodles.. the stall which i caused the guy get scolded. saw YC LK and luther. then walked back lo.. go for class again. chem tutorial nvr do again.. but she went through chem mock spa. i gt lvl 7. then wei xiang was complaining why my spa always so zai. where gt sia.. *humble*. james chia halfway msg me for lian wei's no. maybe he wanna bang me. physics tutorial kenna shot again.. cause i nvr do again.. then ms.tan banged me too. ouch. then was chinese do nothing lesson. nice lor.. then went home straight. cause Pam is having sectionals till 6! omg la.. now have sectionals i also dont know for wad.. nvm la nt my business. went home prac.. prac halfway almost fell asleep. im so shagged dont know by wad.. these few days not very well for me..

ate dinner.. i asked the name of the fish. red snapper. lots of meat. thats nice..

gtg do my EOM due tml liao.
bye blog.

Ouch. No blog?

2005-08-22T19:27:00.000+08:00

argh. let me discuss why im in pain. 2ulcers, 1 deep into the gum, the other right at the side and front of my lip. its gonna merge with another smaller 1 to become a huge 1. its deep. and i gt it cause i bit my gum while i ate da bao mac's from kallang tt night after YO. liddat la. pain ful. plus i gt 3 cracks on my lips, discovered last night. my lips are super dry. so i used the gel Pam gave to me.

yeah.. today didnt study for chem mock spa.. but learnt how when i copied answers from wei xiang when i didnt do my extra practice questions on gas laws. then did it during chem lor.. sat right in front nxt to mrs.chua again. then after tt she go thru tutorial which i nvr did since chemical equilibrium. die la.. f maths reduction formula also dying liao. how sia. still planning to get an A for f maths for promos. madness. but possible.

darrell passed me the TOFU cd today.. maybe gonna watch later. but he didnt bring the DOTA cd, which i wanted to install and try out today. nvr tried it ever b4.. so i dont know la. can add a new game to my comp which is quite accomplishing. yeah.. supposed to go play LAN with my class on sat but went to eat with Pam instead. liddat lor.. nvr get to play at all. then i thought that it was Dawn of the Ancients but its Defence of the Ancients. haha lame me. la-me. then raimi suan me la.. then i suan him back.. he owes me 40cent drink cause lim poh suan didnt call him to read passage during GP. and GP remedial boring cause my topic sentences didnt link back to the question. but i think today GP lesson 1st time i so responsive and alive.

oh ya this wed gt potato party held by Delta. raimi said gt potato chips, mashed potato, potato salad, and more i think. i wonder why i didnt join house comm and listen to TK. should have predicted myself nt in band comm. then now i gonna leave TJ with no records. or maybe black records. landing up in principal's office during 1st 3 months cause of bad discipline. how often you get some1 so skilled like that. =X

then sent Pam home.. sensed her unhappiness within.. although i thought i knew the reason but i didnt assume. so i asked and asked lor.. the she as usual asked me wad do you think.. but ok la like me liddat. then i asked whether was it cause i didnt spend enough time with her.. then she took a long time to reply me. i gt it right.. haiz im so busy. almost every1 in the whole world is telling me to stop something and concentrate or i'll die. now i belive. i want to get at least 2 As for promos which somewhat seem impossible. a merit for grade 5 exam which i might possible get. need time to revise.

let the time i spend with Pam be 5x.
let the time i spend on studies be 2.5x.
let the time i spend on tuba be 2.5x.

a mathematical equation, it is. major in mathematics, NUS? its alot of time. then ppl will start saying that i only have 24hrs a day. yeah i know. then i realised that my communication with Pam somewhat resembled my parents. somehow, seems like.. same way same type. my dad's theory of atoms:

2atoms attracted to each other, so close. but then the electrons have more frequency of clashing and started having sparks around due to collision. then friction between the 2 atoms is produced. so, to minimise this stay abit more away from each other, leave a gap.

this theory resembles a relationship. think its true la..

anyway goin to eat soon.. have to prac tonight, study.
cya blog.

many things happened.

2005-08-21T20:59:00.000+08:00

let's talk bout yesterday. didnt get to update my blog.. went home late..

woke up at 9+ supposed to be 8.30. nvm.. prac till 10 then went to bathe.. then left home at 10.15am.. chiong to CCAB. then PIE jam.. then dad didnt go by stevens rd, to adam rd and missed 2 junctions.. then reach CCAB at 10.50am. then go in say sorry im late. then mr.hoo said
"you aren not late. you are very late." <----------bwg.
then sit down play.. play till listesse tempo then mr.lim ask me replay.. then stop then replay.. jump to fig.K and play.. then jump to maestoso. super disappointing. missed the G and high C. wtf la. then after tt mr lim said,
"bad, its really bad. i've never heard such a performance in my whole life,seriously."
mr hoo said,
"i know you're changing your embrochure. i think you need to put in a little more effort. cause changing your embrochure is a big thing."
mrs wong said,
"you jc1 right? if you cant get to main by the end of this yr im afraid you have to leave."
liddat lor. and this sounds like AMI or Singapore Idol. just that im not live on tv like william hung. while dad wanted to turn to orchard road at CCAB entrance he almost knocked into a white RAV4 JR. guess wad. its M.LAW SIAO. msged him to say sorry. lian wei took my dad's car to orchard makan.. then we went home.

then went to eat lunch with Pam, saw Adi at the bus stop, Pam signed up for student's membership.. zhun zhun $30. then ordered chef's salad and black pepper ribs. 1st time in history we finished everything. nice. then sent her home. sian lor.. i know she's sian about me not spending enough time with her.. upset.. disappointing i was supposed to watch wedding crashers with her. sorry.. mom didnt allow me to. then she complain im busy.. sorry.. then went up see hams.. did some aural stuff with her.. my singing sucks. then went home lor.. i also know she not happy. but wad can i do? haiz................

went home mapled awhile then did my "black book" on Mr.Ng. kitty tan say better do and i finally heeded her advice. i think its better to do, better for revision. then went paragon eat DING TAI FENG. then ate usual stuff.. xiao long bao and spinach with garlic.. liddat.. went to walk find bags. my bro went to crumpler shop. nice la the bags.. stylo milo. the price also abit stylo milo. haha reminds me of andrew's birthday wallet costing $80+. yeah.. but i cant bear to spend money on such expensive stuff. i nt rich kid. then tried to find the $100 bag again.. the shop really gone. bo bian.. went home.. then mom say she bad mood. call me into her room counsel me. long lecture. sian half. say cope with stuff trying to relieve my stress make me less frustrated and stuff. liddat la. then msged Pam.. she seems so upset with me. haiz wanna die. then went to finish my 2nd chap, AP & GP.. while the 1st was partial fractions super easy la. then slp.

Today,woke up at 8.15am.. dress up go church.. and some group of students in Brunei played with the ouija board. demons broke out all over and still increasing. the Sultan encountered a demon-possesed girl. the news dubbed as "mass hysteria". still, didnt allow the Churches to come in. Sermon was on 'Wisdom'. knowledge, and wisdom. seriously.. ask for Wisdom and it shall be given to you. and sang 2 beautiful songs.. remembered 1...

Jesus I believe in you,
Jesus I belong to you.
You're the reason that I live,
The reason that i sing,
With all I am.

yeah.. its beautiful.. mom quarrelled with dad again.. over my bro's stuff.. i diam diam la. no point interferring. then went over kia chai's house for PW again.. played CS, then redid my chap4 and the question analysis.. alot of work today. then went out eat 5star chicken rice.. mapled awhile.. now blogging.

didnt talk to Pam these few days.. die la. I'll die.. though im msging her now. haiz. wad to do? i dont know..

think i go do my PW chap 4 again la..
cya blog..
nights..

Daddy's back.. back again..

2005-08-19T20:19:00.000+08:00

some food's stuck to my teeth now. just ate dinner.. yeah.. lots of chicken.. gt steamed fish=) then bro ate porridge cause his teeth pain. dont know why he wants to brace his teeth also. i shall speak of my day...

this morning.. 02/05 watched the 2.4km run.. this guy batch damn zai la.. run damn fast.. average end at around 12mins leh. omg la.. when they 12 min i still halfway thru my last round i guess. still remem my own 2.4. ee. then the guys batch. gt this bloody guy i hate alot. POSER. ACT COOL. ATTENTION SEEKER. wad's his problem? the body looks so fit. but then the brain is the size of an ant. run so slow.. bo liao. then he tried to be the slowest lor.. lame kia. then he run 7rounds somemore? wad's so cool bout that. waste time waste energy wasting his own life away. then on his last round i still remem he did a somersault which he almost fell. can see cause he's the only one left on the other side. so lame. come back talk to his friends still say "haha i ran 7rds leh." then hafiz bastardised him.. ask him teach him somersault. lol. we were all shouting poser and stuff when he reached the end. argh wadeva la. he's such an irritant.

yeah.. pw maggie goh praise our group. miraculous? amazing? wonderful? omg? yeah.. it happened. first time in history.. the world started raining men.. <-- no link. but then the chapter 4 done by me.. haiz she said need more work. ended school with chinese today..allowed us to go do anywhere. went to hub tried to watch TOFU. but then cannot and not fun cause no sound wad. so sian lor.. watch junhe talk with no sound. then after tt darrell and gang went over to eat while i went to find Peh in the library. then did the chi compo awhile.. then darrell came.. then he did tt time question me. then i thought i wrote out of topic la. then went with Pam to eat.. quite troubled over the stupid essay la. then sent her back to band room.. then dont know how her packet of waterchestnut dropped to the floor. had to add stacks of tissue to clean it up. later gt ants i die=X then went back to library do chi again.. finally finished. anyhow do la.. hope i pass.

then 3+ tt time bro and mom came over pick me up.. chiong to VCH. then sign up for my ABRSM grade 5 theory.. and the queue was so short! i was surprised. liddat lor.. then carmen the musical was playing downstairs.. at the entrance of the SSO office. nice.. i want to watch. wonder when they ever gonna come to Singapore. then bro came pick us again the sent himover to SMU. then went home with mom.. fell asleep for abt 5min along the way.. helped her wipe the car glass cause she cant reach. lol. anyway went home mapled half an hour then my mom ask me prac. think she dont believe i cant do it. hate it when ppl look down on me. wad's her problem? then i didnt care i practise like mad.. all the way till dinner. then till now lor..

miss her. but then wad to do.. busy.. she's scolding me nowadays also dont know why la. haiz.

anyway jsut asked my dad to give me a 128mb thumbdrive. that's nice.

thus, tchow is going to practise and call Pam i guess. bye blog..................................................

Physics SPA

2005-08-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

omg la. i completely forgot that today gt physics spa. its freaky. luckily i brought some spa notes to study. pon mr.wong's lecture again.. think 3rd time this term.. on newton's second law? wad lame stuff again.. F=ma.. im still stuck at his tutorial 3 while he's already at tutorial 5. but then i still prefer integration. just remem yesterday attended NUS talk.. quite nice la.. gt maths department.. major in math. i should go.. haha.. then ppl shall call me Prof. Chow. PROFFESSOR you know. how often u get ppl calling you proffessor? maybe in my dreams la.. anyway heng i studied for SPA.. so shit my first point damn bloody out. then the rest said its a perfect graph. fine. but then think i'll get 7+. hope. the rest either forgot to multiply out the thing. the equation was.

T(squared)= 4/c(h+ k(squared)/h)

hope i'll do well anyway. today went for YO.. nt bad la.. improved. but the point is that i took cab to CCAB with rachel and reached there at abt 5.45pm. crazy thats damn early. then go seminar room so paiseh gt CHIJ girls inside i think having lecture. theni tried goin SMU to eat but forgot close down. no ATM liao also. i'll remember this. and i tried goin to prata cafe. but they didnt accept NETS.. so fine lor. go buzz.. then saw jinxing.. long time no see.. improved. anway, thats the result of practising everyday i guess. and doing slurs.. ttz good. played sea sketches.. and eric lee took us today.. han solo nvr come.. then jinhao playing for both sessions of SSO open house. huihong gave up the opportunity to play. crap lor.. AP-face didnt come again today. lame sia. after that talked to Mark.. then realised he quit PhilYouth till Eric Lee came. not the strings one.. the Malaysia one. wadeva la.. heard he bringing them over to thai. anyway he said he scolded the committee till they bwg. nt bad la.. zai~

anyway now i'm home.. played maple abit while i ate big mac bought along the way at kallang. bathed liao.. supposed to do EOM. forget it la.. dont care liao. do another day hand in on Mon lor.. before that i called Pam while she was happily sleeping on the other side.. then mm here mm there.. as usual slpy.. in the end didnt get to talk.. haiz wad to do.. she's tired so am i.. yeah.. tired me. going to start studying for promos nxt wk. 2days left to assessment. dont give up.. never say die=)

anyway.. shall slp early tonight. night blog=)

Band day..

2005-08-17T22:53:00.000+08:00

Wad a tiring day.. left school at about 7+pm.. got band today. today play so so la.. at least better than usual.. perhaps because last few nights i did practise myself.. haiz today in band play so many things. so many different pieces. guess the best pieces were peace variations and gypsy dance. really interesting and nice. sec4s confirm can play la. cant play i chop.=X

thats good i guess. tiring day la.. pon civics today to listen to yao cong play in a recital. it was good.. eccentric dances. nt easy.. but think the sound didnt come out enough. well thats wad i think.. really.. maybe is the acoustics or the piece. too many technicalities cant bring out him well maybe. oh well.. nt for me to decide anyway.. his sound is brilliant. improved much alot since i last heard him play solos live.. really. better than his artunian and willson suite.

now im tired.. msged Pam but she didnt reply. and today i gt reprimanded by her cause i couldnt hear her call me. then she scold me say nvr listen to her so many times then dont wanna talk to me. exactly wad did i do man.. i didnt do it purposely? haiz dont know la. keep quiet is the best=)

assessment in 3day's time. wad to do?? practise la.. thats the answer. and i have YO tml night. how boring. and remedial till 5pm! omg la. wanna die. also i have to register my grade 5 theory tml or fri. and think fri i skipping band to prac for my assessment.. better la.. anyway nowadays band prac also test pieces only.. dont even know wad we gonna play or something for open house. die la.. no sax. no 1st tpt. how? anyway tried out the trio for tubas today. was crappy la.. sian.. but think practise can liao. dont mind playing that for fiesta though. and the anti-omm supposed to do banner for fiesta. but wads the title/theme of our fiesta? i dont know. so how? wait la. anyway more and more ppl's bday coming.. espec sept. have to prepare cake again.. use money.. im broke.

anyway go prac liao.. sorry blog for short entry today.. nitez=)

Integration and Polynomial Test.

2005-08-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

wah sian. today's test is crap la. half my polynomial question never do. then integration i thought damn easy but then a few parts also dont know how to do. sian la.. still thought can finally do well for something but nvr. sian lor. nt like sec sch gt my super pro math tutor teach me. and nt like me sec sch gt my super pro chem teacher to teach me. u cant have the best things all at a time i guess.

today no pe.. that's good and bad. good cause no need exercise on such a hot day. bad cause i nvr get to exercise. body storing up fats and maybe nxt yr i might still get a bronze of fail. my 2.4 and pull up and SBJ must work la. if nt see you early in NS.. =) yeah.. then waited in band room for Pam till 5.15 when i tot is 4.30. then go home lor.. then like that.. think i disappointed her cause i didnt go see our babies. but then on the other hand i really damn bloody tired la. <-- wad's new? but serious wad.. nt lying also.. then tried to slp in bus.. but so uncomfortable. so coincidental saw marco.. my ex-02 dm on the bus.. then i went back to slp.. then woke up he disappear liao. sian lo.. nvr talk to him. then reach home msg Pam before i went to eat.. then play MS.. nt bad la.. last night half hr get lvl 5.. now get lvl8 liao.. ppl add me 'ChowThief' if you playing MS.. provided your list isnt full. yeah.. time check. 10pm! die la.. nvr do work.. but must go prac. sat's my YO assessment! 4 days left la.. jia lat. but still gonna play my Bb for half an hour later.. then call my girl.. think i shouldnt stay here liao. if nt no time to do things.

bye blog!=)

Freddi's Recital

2005-08-16T11:41:00.000+08:00

oh ya.. have to say sorry to Twain for last min pang sei him.. supposed to go with him to Freddi's recital at NAFA today. but then didnt cause i was so damn tired.. although i really wanna go. haiz another chance wasted. remem him the other day asking me whether i wanna go then i said yes. then he didnt tell me the price (-.-)". which was actually 5bux. and yeah.. today go sch forgot bring money. cause i left my 40bux in the back pocket of my jeans.. my mom just helped me to take it out and its freaking wet. and my throat is suddenly burning now. damn painful. need to go grab a jug of water to put out the fire. anyway gtg do work.

re-Good night blog.=)

GP sucks.

2005-08-16T11:19:00.000+08:00

haiz. wad's new? i hate my GP teacher and the bloody subject to the max. man. really hate it. got picked at again in class by the infamous LIM POH SUAN. really sick of her. actually not only her.. my last GP teacher too FAYE TAN. still remem her first cold joke.. telling us her name is FAYE TAN not FAYE WONG. omg la.. bhb.. she and the mediacorp star gt a million lightyears difference. guess she should stop believing that she is pretty or something. and she's a backstabber. sent me and joel to the principal during 1st 3months and she so hypocrite. treat us so nice but at the back stab us. think she scared of us or something.

yeah.. so continue for my day.. went to eat lunch with QP and TZ.. dont know where TK went though.. and Pam's lunchtime is not the same as mine on Mondays.. i must remem tt. then after tt chem lecture on ionic equilibria.. and i dont understand much la.. since chemical equilibrium. die lor.. physics and chem.. physics i nvr did my tutorials. then was mr.Ng's lesson.. yeah.. integrate and integrate and integrate. like f maths.. dont know why also.. just that i dont manage my time properly. and btw tml's my f maths test.. supposed to study now.. so i can prac later.. and watch tv.. but i haven't touched on polynomial equations and integration by parts yet. the rest is quite ok i guess.. my the other window is downloading maplestory.. so my comp. wont look so empty anyway. then after GP ended i went to do some topic sentences for 2 GP topics and went to wait for Pam in band room. but then i tried to call her a million times but no reply. so damn scared la.. thought she lost her phone.. no battery.. wad happpened to her or wad.. but in the end she ended late. i went to eat the $1.30 instant mee from bookshop which was nt bad.. then she came to look for me.. then went home lo. OH YA. i really dont know how to "hong" her. i no skill la.. dont know why too. i never learnt how to do tt in my whole life. yeah dont know how to make her happy.. in simpler words.

yeah.. thats abt it for my day.. supposed to go do some maths tutorials to gear up for tml's f maths test.. hope i pass and nt forget everything like the stupid vectors test tt day. wanna commit suicide tt day. yeah then must prac my tuba.. anyway havent named it yet. need to think of something to call it..

so i gtg.. mug.. practise.. watch tv.. call my dear.. slp. I DO LACK SLP. need tons of slp. so?

Good night blog.=)

in school..

2005-08-16T02:03:00.000+08:00

good morning.. im in school now.. 10.57am now.. inside one of the com labs.. the space super squeezy.. buay tahan.. my leg so long that's why.. supposed to read through how to do our chem spa skill C.. about the gas stuff.. damn sian.. http://core.ecu.edu/chem/chemlab/exper10/techniques.htm <--- technique.
jon ng sitting beside me.. both of us complaining that the words damn bloody small to read. had chicken stew for break with tz, tk & legend, gen, yi hern, his fren, twain, fifi, and anymore? cant remem la.. so bloody tired. woke up at 7.20am this morning. then my mama woke me up remind me to think about dropping one of my participating groups and stuff.. i know la ma. soon i guess.. mrs chua talking bout the beaker things i think.. supposed to do expt 12 later.. and think pam is in one of the other chem labs.. till then.. bye blog.

Sunday blues..

2005-08-15T11:27:00.000+08:00

sunday blues.. another sunday..

argh.. so damn difficult to wake up today.. mom tried to wake me up 3 times but didnt seem to work.. then i finally tried to get up and i did.. at 8.15. then as usual i laid back and slp awhile more.. then at 8.20 i woke up. then went to church.. and sermon was about "Finishing the Work." Its just so true.. God's glory will only descend when our work has complete, not before. And the job for me? I have to find time to speak with God.. walk with him and let Him reveal wad is His will for me.

Then after that chiong home with mom.. not forgetting to buy mac's breakfast for ourselves and my bro.. then wake him up. supposed to drop him off at SMU but he like nvr seem to come down. then he finally did and we left.. to BUKIT GOMBAK.

Had lessons with Leonard.. but not very well.. Bb for an hour.. and tried acaedamic festival.. then spent another 1hr chatting.. not say useless la.. its true.. talking about himself and his jc life.. about how he tried grabbing many things - violin lessons, harmony lessons, sws, band, mep 's' paper.. and his quarrelings with gf. yeah.. he gt much more than me actually.. but i think i do spend more time with my Pam than him though.. yeah he's a real nice teacher.. thought he was gonna scold me.. but didnt. im also irritated with myself la definitely.. for rising and dropping. then he mentioned that im in the "instant noodle generation." everything needs to be instant and stuff. yeah true.. told me to quit something.. which i wanted to all along.. dont want to quit anything. cant bear to.. but i should.. or sacked sooner or later i guess.

then go paya lebar to kia chai's house for pw. then michelle and shun min both push me to do my chap 4.. so difficult.. wanna die la.. why i so stupid to choose that? at least i did the survey results.. nt bad right? <-- excuse. then after tt me kia chai and arjun played winning eleven 7 on the com.. kia chai couldnt take arjun after i thrash them 4-1 in the 1st half then he came over.. made it 9-1. and arjun lost so bitterly. so sad.. then he left while i played a couple of rounds of cs.. the mom and bro pick me up go katong ampang niang tou fu eat dinner. surprisingly im full. probably afternoon i ate lunch at about 3plus and ate alot of chips..

then now im home while my mom go casket and bro go out with fren.. home alone.. Pam just called me to express her woes.. but i dont know how to comfort her? im so bloody useless la.. as usual.. useless chow(child). lame sia.. then she said tt i dont wanna comfort her.. but is i dont noe how.. hearing her out isnt part of comfort? i dont know.. maybe it isnt.. i would like to tell all my worries and stuff to everyone but i just cant be so.. cause i scared of other ppl.. dont like pouring myself out to ppl.. dont wanna be betrayed. the feeling sucks la.. when you want to end friendship but dont bear to.. Dear Pam, I really dont know how. If only you felt happy. Actually, I think im not good enough actually. its always me who hurt her. though she's done the same to me before.. but i dont speak of my sorrows often. who cares right? feel tt sometimes she's angry with me but i dont know wads the reason. maybe i gt 9pts so high ttz why dont know. no IQ or EQ to understand. i wish i could. most of the time i just keep quiet and take the pain to myself.. its alright.. stay strong. then i guess Pam is now angry with me.. how? haiz. i wish i knew how she thinks. honestly i dont know how to satisfy her.

im supposed to drop something out of my life. Pam? no.. she's important in my life.. she helps me to grow actually.. find that ive grown more.. less conservative.friends? no.. they are important too.like them but dont spend enough time with them.. sad. band? felt like la.. but i owe to TJ Band. helped me to appeal in during 1st 3 months.. so i owe it to them though i wanna quit. so sick and pressurized.. Tuba? no.. i love it. but the feeling sucks when you've risen to a level but have to drop down to go back to basics. now i've lost what i really loved to do in the past.. but ttz alright. i think im improving.. at least. stressful.. band friends who look at me.. i know.. i play like shit now la.. i also understand. im trying though.. but the bottomline is - shit. sorry guys. YO? wanted to long ago. though now i understand his concept of pressure.. abit sian la.. jin hao is better than me. think hui hong also la. me? hai. dont noe. and of course i cant stop doing tutorials. i wanna get at least 3As for A lvls.. try la at least. ttz abt it.

now tv showing Signs.. sian1/2 show.. no link 1 la.. lame aliens.. reminds me of scary movie 3.
then chan u gt the money minded guy.. watch on chan 62 many times liao.

guess wad both my mom and leonard said is right - dont spread yourself so thinly.
"you want everything? you'll get nothing." <--- from one of leonard's ex-teacher(cant remem who).

yeah, so like me? i wanna do something bout it. but so difficult. so which is it? i dont know..
till then.. have to do chap4 and do some lame GP topic sentences shit. and tues gt f.maths test on polynomial till integration by parts. i die la. havent even touched integration by parts. and im lagging by a million years in chem and phy. see? example of how i spread so thin. wanna do everything. im too greedy. think too 'geh kiang'. i should stop this bad habit or i'll do badly for 'A' lvls with flying colours. do work already.. bye blog..

New blog?

2005-08-14T13:50:00.000+08:00

ah. my first blog entry. i dont know wad page is this? i hope i can see that this is my first entry? crap la. dont no one will read this blog anyway. lame chow. tired, sleepy, braindead? i'm literally worn out, exhausted, wadever u call it. so many things happened today.

- NAPFA 5 items this morning at 8am.
madness. i woke up at 7.45+ and went back to slp. 7.55 woke up again and rush to wear attire, call darrell and ting zhang who never answered. then chiong downstairs heng saw a cab then took to sch. 1buck surchage think peak hr. then in the end heng on time. then 1st item was sit up, think i abit idiot. 43 for A, i did the last 3 slowly. when it was 43 i just laid there and "AH."
2nd was pull up we waited damn long and didnt realise we supposed to pass tt volley teacher our class list. then my turn i tried 2 but fail.. too heavy i know. nvr count my first 2 liao then fine stop doing and jump down. then fail with a chicken egg called zero. then nxt item shuttle run ok la. 9.7s nt my best la but ok lor.. so much time lost when i thought i gonna fall but didnt. then go standign broad jump gt 1 class cut queue super sian. then we proceed to sit and reach also wait so long.. then my turn i stretch like mad. 56cm. madness also. then top my class. abit surprised la me. then go back to jumping i failed my 1st 2 tries. derrick ong is crazy. 250+ cm. then i retry 1 last time heng heng teacher nice nice gimme 206cm. happy lo.. but still fail napfa cause of pull up. even if i pass.. i still get bronze cause of SBJ and 2.4.

- Pam and hamsters
Called her after tuition and took a long time deciding on our plans today. very long.. reach home line gt cut cause of lift no reception. argue with her ask her come my house eat but she dont want.. in the end i say if she hungry then cook. then she arrived! - with homemade ROSTI like MARCHE. its nice la i must say, seriously. i also wanna learn how to cook it soon. i used to want to be the iron chef. <-- ahah reminds me of andrew. like that lor.. then at my house she did chinese work while i ate some homemade meefen. then waste time look at hamster, watch ndp replay on tv, then in the end? 3.45! she had to go for tuition.. then i send her down tog. with hamsters.. then she left in that brown family car..

- Mailbox
looked into the mailbox so worried cause yi hern the other day said clara knew her day of exam liao. i was like praying that ABRSM letter come. and it did! so happy la no need call that bloody VCH office and talk to that irritating woman. dont like her. anyway yeah, my exam date is on the 16/9 at 4.56pm. quite lame la.. might as well put me at 5pm? then the examiners can have 4 min toilet break or something. die la i havent fix my embrochure play wad for them to hear. speaking of playing, next sat is YO's assessment with the academic overture. damn easy la. if i only settle my lips. i think im stubborn and lazy. always prac liao then nvr prac again. then sometimes nvr listen to leonard. regret alot of times but nvr learn my lesson. always thought of giving up la. you know its damn difficult to retrain your basics when u have actually reached a certain level of advancement? irritating man. i think i wanna go too fast ttz why, dont wanna be looked down at ttz why, dont wanna lose out to ppl. i know i am not bad. but i think i dont have the heart to go all the way. dont know why too. add oil to myself.

yeah.. think ttz quite some bit i guess. today my first entry. maybe abit long though. hope it gets posted? haha.. its like quite late. supposed to go do mouthpiece buzzing at least. and tml wake up early for church and meet leonard at 12pm. die la scared he scold. and spent most of the day playing shattered galaxy. my character like lvl 50 liao damn high. 2 sets of my units are max lvl liao.. hai dont know why i just said these. tired i guess, no link guy, nvr mind, say bye bye. good night blog.